Ladies at the Dentist Office

I was at the dentist office today and got into a conversation about how I met my husband. I mentioned this blog…and the conversation then went to how to access this.

Yes Readers…I’m now MARRIED. We are so happy that it’s like I’m living in a dream!

For the ladies at the office where I gave the sofreespirit.wordpress.com address to…the singlewomansblog.com address apparently is working now. Yay!

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OKCupid: What do I like best about my body? What?

I received this message Saturday. As you can see the screenshot was taken at 7:36pm and 29 minutes earlier this man tells me he “has a glow on”. Already? Wow, that’s a bit early…even for a Saturday.

What do I like best about my body? How about the fact that my body is 3 hours away from this idiot. I promptly blocked him after my response.  I don’t have time to entertain boys.

As I stated in my response, it’s not acceptable to start a conversation like this just because it’s online and I can’t see the person. The only way I can see this being OK is if I’m hammered at the bar with puke in my hair and one boob hanging out my top.

Otherwise, no. Get some Internet Etiquette (netiquette)  skills people if you intend to use it!

I may have brought myself down to his level a bit by telling him to get a life and calling him an idiot…perhaps this working 6 nights a week thing is taking it’s toll. Or maybe I’m just a bitch. 😛 Take your pick. 🙂

TMI His EX with Screenshot

I think there were two messages before I asked this man what made him try Plenty of Fish. As you can see the conversation went totally awry at no fault of my own. I even warned him that he was giving me too much info….yet he still gave me more. This man is obviously still hurting and should spend some time with friends and family before he tries to find himself a woman.

It is my experience that if someone has verbal/textual diarrhea when it comes to their ex then they ARE NOT over them.

Am I wrong?

Was it Her or Was it Me? It was HIM!

Men need to read this!

Was It Her Or Was It Me? The Douche In Me That I Don’t See

 

Men have to get that bringing up other women insults your date. Women don’t get jealous since it’s just a first date, it’s because the man is openly comparing us to other women. Keep that shit to yourself! We get nervous enough and the key is to make your date feel comfortable to want to open up….not create a competition.

I’ve met a few guys described in that post and I still get a text or two once in a while from them asking me out again.

I don’t reply.

I made the list!

Somehow I made the list of 10 Best Dating Blogs for 30 Somethings. The link is here. It was definitely a nice surprise to wake up to this today.

Yes, I know I’ve been lacking in my writing. I’m going to be quick to blame being promoted to a new job which also requires a whole new routine and sleeping schedule. It’s been a month in my new position and I’m just now getting used to it….and the working 6 nights a week thing.

I’ve still been having dates when I can but many men don’t understand why I have to work so much now. It’s looking like dating from work may be my only option now as I’m always there. Do I really want to take that route? I tried it once 2 years ago and it was a disaster. Although the guy was a self-proclaimed asshole…I should have gotten a clue there. 😛 Sounds like a future blog post to me…

More blogs to come soon, I promise. 🙂

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I was also nominated in the Only Dates Blog Awards for 2014. I write for the fun of it but if they want to give me an award for doing something I love…go for it! 🙂

The Pink Panties

There are times when you feel like throwing caution to the wind and just going with the flow. There are also times where there are red flags and you should not ignore them. The experience I’m about to tell is one of those.

In about April of this year I found myself with a weekend off where my kids were with their dad. It was Saturday afternoon and plans I had made with friends had fallen through. A man had started sending me messages on POF. Another military man from the base located an hour from me. He seemed decent enough that after a couple hours of messages back and forth, I accepted his invitation for dinner.

I made the hour long drive to his city as there was more things to do there than in mine. We met at a restaurant and everything seemed cool. I will add that he was VERY French. As I’ve met quite a few men from the military on POF I’ve become used to filtering out the accent. I sometimes think it’s funny to hear how they say certain English words…even my own name as it starts with an H….H’s are difficult for them and I know this. 😛

We had a nice drink and chat at the first restaurant then he suggest going to another because he had discovered I loved wings. Everything seemed normal except I learned that he was only recently single for a month and that his ex girlfriend (also military) was still in the process of moving out. Hmm…

After eating I seemed comfortable with him enough to accept his invitation to watch some Big Bang Theory at his place. Yes, I know…you shouldn’t go to a guys house you just met but it had started raining. I wasn’t ready to go home yet and the rain made it so a walk would have been dismal.

I should have gone home.

I went to his place which was a small basement apartment. He had explained he was moving in another week to a house he had bought in a new subdivision. We settled on the couch and he made sure to sit right beside me and snuggled up. At this point I didn’t mind because who doesn’t like to snuggle?

About half way through the episode I had to use the washroom. He directs me to go through his bedroom where the bathroom is on the other side. I passed a drying rack on my way but had to go so bad something didn’t register at first. When I came out I did a quick sweep of the room with my eyes….because I’m nosy that way.

Fantasy novel (in French) by the bed, clothes neatly folded on the dresser, boxes half filled looking like he’s ready to move and pink panties hanging off the drying rack. PINK PANTIES? WTF…? This guy was 6’3″ and easily a muscular 190-200lbs. There is no freakin’ way he could fit into those.

That being said, he had told me his ex was in the process of moving out. I don’t know about you all…but if I’m moving out of someone’s place I’m pretty sure I’m not going to leave my PINK underwear hanging around, quite literally. As well, if my ex left his underwear hanging around I would have either burned it or thrown it in a garbage bag for them to pick up.

I went back out to his living room and pretended I hadn’t seen anything. I didn’t sit as close to him though. We watched the rest of the episode and he indicated that he wanted to make out with me. I decided I had nothing to lose said sure, if he could say my name.

Remember the whole “H” thing couple with the French accent? I wanted to get in one last laugh before I left this loser.

“Say my name.”

He shakes his head no.

“Come on, I want to hear you say it.”

“I cannot.”

“Really? It’s that hard?”

“Oui.”

“Oh I get it…do you even remember my name?” I ask jokingly.

He shakes his head.

Nice. What the fuck? I know I texted my name to him before I met him and I knew his name..and had said it a couple times. This indicated that he didn’t care to remember or know it.

It was at this point where my phone started ringing and it was coworkers wondering where I was. I usually attend local UFC showings with them….and usually the one who drives their drunk asses home. I used this excuse as my quick exit, but not before noticing a few pairs of high heeled shoes shoved to one side in the entry way. Hmm..

Needless to say I never contacted that guy again. I came to the conclusion that his girlfriend must have been on some course with the military and/or was out of town at that time. There is also the idea that she was staying at their new house while he was supposed to be packing. Who knows…I don’t…and I don’t care to know.

Le sigh.

Twitter: Hook up/Dating Site? with Screenshot

This is a screen shot of the first time anyone has remotely asked me to “hook up” on Twitter…and I’m using the nicer words as the picture says it all! I’m not a fan of direct messages (DMs). Usually they are annoying automatic messages thanking me for following while directing me to their website to sell me something. Ugh.. If I want to go to the person’s site I will freakin’ click on the link they provide in their profile!

I digress…

I guess I should have asked if Twitter was a hook up site as it’s clear that this guy was trying to use it as such. I understand and LOVE that I can write raunchy tweets on Twitter. It suits my personality and how I write much more than Facebook where my close friendsand family might think I’m just whacked. (It’s a possibility they already do…) 😛 That being said, you just Don’t message people with crap like this….on ANY site. especially if you have Never talked to the person before.

I checked the guys pictures and he was hot. That being said, if he’s using Twitter to try and get his dink played with it’s either not him or there is something super wrong with him in another way. Perhaps he has one of these…

Other people’s children I tell you.

Review: Oshawa POF Event – Whiskey John’s

Last night I found myself with nothing much to do. I had spent roughly 6 hours working on my lawn in the hot sun and treated myself to a New York steak at the Lonestar. A male friend was texting me while I ate and an idea formed in my head. I clicked the Join button on the  POF app the make it show that I would be attending the event.

I had seen the Plenty of Fish event for Oshawa posted many times and always thought it would be fun to check it out and write a review. (As I did HERE for the Ottawa POF Event.)  In the back of my mind I had it as a back up plan if I didn’t find something to do. My idea was to take my friend with me and enter the event separately so I could get a perspective from both sexes. I figured that if the event was anything like the one in Ottawa that my friend would be attacked by all the single cougars.

Sadly, I arrived at my friends place to pick him up and he chickened out! I tried to convince him to come be my bodyguard instead but to no avail. Within 10 minutes of arriving I was off to Oshawa. An hour or so later I was in Oshawa following my GPS to where the event was being held. I made sure to check-in on Facebook as the only person who knew where I was at that point was the friend I tried to get to come along. At least if I disappeared the authorities had a starting point. 😛

I arrived at Whisky John’s at midnight. I think this was a good time as this meant people would have a few drinks in them and hopefully would be more social. I was wrong. It seemed like there were a lot of wall flowers there. Quite literally there was a line of older “bigger” men along the wall shrouded in darkness watching the door. I walked in, saw this then saw at least 3 of them check their phone revealing a blue glow. I could only guess they were checking their POF App because they all looked up at me and nodded their heads in recognition. That’s what I get for making it known I would be there. A little creepy but I guess I did it to myself…

I took a seat at the bar where there was light and ordered a drink. The bartender makes yummy Caesars I might add. I nursed that drink for almost an hour as I took in the rest of the event.

I was quite surprised to see that despite the wall of creepy men I first saw there was a younger crowd as well. There seemed to be something or someone for everyone there. The music was great for dancing and had a good range of styles. Even a TV with football for those who just wanted to sit and drink. It wasn’t as crowded as I thought it would be. I remember the Ottawa event was absolutely packed and you could barely move. It wasn’t the case here. The music was loud enough to dance but not too loud to talk. They had lots of pool tables too which is great for people who feel like doing something else while they chat.

It wasn’t long before my eye caught a couple that looked about mid-forties. They were seated across the bar from me in my direct line in sight. The woman was talking and the man was watching and hopefully listening intently….as that’s what it looked like he was doing. Every time I scanned the room I came back to them for a few seconds. I guessed I looked too long once because the man caught me. Ahh crap.. After that almost every time I looked at him after my scan he would glance up at me. The woman got up hugged the man, kissed him on the cheek and presumably went to the bathroom. The man got up too then looked over at me with a look and head raise that made me think he wanted to come over to me. Double crap! I looked down at my drink, sucked the rest of it back and got up to leave.

Just as I pushed my glass to the end of the bar one the wall flowers appeared out of no where beside me. He asked if he could buy me another drink. I politely declined and said I was leaving. I quickly left and went to my car. As I said, I nursed that drink for an hour. Does that mean this guy was watching and waiting for me to finish for that long? He couldn’t come talk to me first as it was clear I was there alone? Hmm… Kind of strange, nice, but strange.

I think if I were to go again I would have to bring friends. I could have easily had a great time there if I had people to talk to.

Not quite as screwed up of a night as when I was at the Ottawa POF Event where I was dealing with Mr. Multiple Underlying Issues.

😛

 

It’s No Accident

I saw this word picture and it rung so true to me. It is especially true when it comes to dating. Every date and every person you meet has something to teach you even if you don’t realize it at the time. They could be teaching you something about yourself like I did in This post or it could be something totally random.

For example, I met a man about a month ago for coffee. We had absolutely no chemistry and parted ways never to contact each other again. That being said, he taught me how Not to set my Tim Hortons coffee cup on fire in the microwave at work. I tried the technique and it totally worked! I use it every shift! One of those things where you wonder how you didn’t think of it yourself but never quite pieced it together. (btw, I’m aware the cup says don’t microwave but I’m not allowed to leave work to get fresh coffee from the shop…and who likes cold coffee unless you specifically order it with ice!?!)

Have you ever learned something totally random from a date that you still use? Let me know in the comments or on the Facebook page. 🙂

A Question Answered + Dating Sites Review

I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed but I have a link where I make myself available for questions from my readers. I got my first one this weekend and it’s a good one I think. A reader writes:

“Do u think POF or other “free” dating sites set you up. Let me explain they send you a “perfect” guy for yourself, he “sends ” you a message and then blam!! he;s gone! You want to believe if u upgrade “pay” u will b able to read this message and he is real???”

In response to this I would have to say I’m on the fence with this one. I believe there are sites that may do this in an effort to get your money but not all of them.

When it comes to Plenty of Fish (POF) and OkCupid all messages, sending and receiving is completely FREE. The only thing you pay for on this sites are what I call the “stalking” features. These include showing you when a person has been online, if they have read your message and how often they have viewed your profile. These sites make their money mainly from ads on the site. In addition when you upgrade to a paid membership you don’t have to see the ads. You just get to see the same pictures of the same men that seem to be on BOTH the sites.

That brings me to sites like Match.com, eHarmony and Lavalife. These sites are geared towards people who are supposedly more serious about meeting someone. It’s sad to say I have tried and/or paid for all of them. Match.com was a one month membership promotion that was half off. eHarmony was a 3 month trial membership for $20. I can’t remember the promotion that got me to try Lavalife but it had to have been cheap…as I’m cheap. 😛 After saying all that, I found there was one thing in common with ALL 3 of these sites. About 75% of the men on them where also on POF and/or OkCupid….the FREE sites.

Now, getting back to the original question, the only dating site there I felt that the messages might have been fake where from Zoosk. I found the site hard to navigate and almost everything I clicked on it tried to get me to buy a membership. As well I was getting constant e-mails from them even if someone just Looked at my profile. No, thanks. The messages from those guys on there can stay unread. In other words, I don’t recommend Zoosk at all as it’s spammy and money hungry.

Thanks to the reader for the question. It was fun to have something to write specifically about and turned into a short review of the many dating sites out there. I’ll gladly expand or clarify if there are any other questions about this.  If anyone else has any other questions for me, Click HERE and send them!!