Monthly Archives: November 2012

The Exes Factor

A few weeks ago I learned that my most recent ex (of 2.5 years ago and the father of my son) had broken up with his girlfriend. I learned this from my 4 year old son as I was giving him a bath one night. Just out of the blue, no probing….since I would normally care less.

A week later guess who appears on the dating site that I frequent. Yep, you guessed it. The ex. Ugh. Of course, since I’m not totally unfortunately looking, he views my profile. Perfect.  To my surprise and dread, I get this message from him:

Him: “Hey, you look really good in your pictures and I like what you wrote in your profile. No, I’m not stalking you, just saying.”

Me: “Thanks, blocking you now.”

Now the stalking comment came from when he texted me an hour before that about seeing my picture but didn’t click on it. I had told him I don’t care if he clicked on it because at least my profile was honest. I had viewed his and had a good laugh..especially at the part where he states he’s a good listener……..yeah, right. Anyways…

Exes are exes for a reason. When I told my friends about this they asked if I would get back together with him. WHAT? Do they not remember what kind of hell I went through when we split? To save writing a bunch of drama it was a resounding HELL NO!

I will admit that I did like that he thought I looked good. Who wouldn’t? But any good thoughts stop there. He is a good dad but was a horrible husband. He jumped right into a relationship(with someone Way younger) a month after we split and I’ve been pretty much single the whole time. I guess it’s hard to trust someone new when you’re too busy looking for red flags the last relationship raised.

Has anyone else had this happen before? If so, how did you handle it? Comments always welcome!

 

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Filed under Dating, Divorce, Love, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single, Trust

Let’s Talk About Sex and Sluts

We all have that one friend who we think is a slut (women) or a stud (men). This usually means they have a lot more sex than the rest of us with a lot more people than what we would call normal. I bring this topic up because I have been faced with an issue when it comes to online dating and Sluts that I’m having trouble with.

Here is the scenario/issue:

I have a local acquaintance who is also actively meeting and dating people from online. We are both using the dating site Plenty of Fish. This means that all the local men on the site see us Both on there. My acquaintance has only been single for 6 months from a very long-term relationship. I would place her in the “fuck everything that moves” phase. She is quite open about how sexually active she has been, with who and whether or Not they used protection. Yes I know…Eww, right? Ugh.

I digress…..

The issue: Sometimes I go out dancing and this acquaintance comes with us. I have been standing beside her and a man will point at her then at myself with a look of recognition…..from the dating site. It’s happened more than once. I’m worried that these men will or do think I’m as EASY/SLUTTY as this woman is.

The Situation: One man who recognized us when we were out messaged us Both the next day. She then had this man over to her place that very night. Initially lied about having sex with him but couldn’t cover up the fact that she was upset that he wasn’t responding to her texts anymore. Meanwhile, he was actively sending me messages on POF and asking me out. I finally laid it out for him with this conversation. Changed name for privacy purposes.

Me: “You do know Sandra and I know each other right?”

Him: “Well yeah, she’s OK but I want to get to know you better, not her.”

Me: “You do know that Sandra and I talk too…right?”

Him: “I would think so.”

Me: “Knowing that, you do realize that she told me you two screwed at her place only 3 nights ago…right?”

Cue the crickets.

I suppose that’s two issues rolled into one. What do you do about being associated with slutty acquaintances  when you like the person but not what they do. Also, what to do about men who will screw any woman who will let them. I sure as HELL don’t want any part of that man/those men. As much as I would like to avoid them…it won’t always be laid out in front of me. (Pun intended…)

Comments, opinions, suggestions always welcome. 🙂

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Filed under Dating, Divorce, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single

Every Bad Date I’ve Had – The Art of Dating

I came across this video tonight when watching some old favorites of Jenna Marbles. This guy did a parody of one of hers (funny as well) so I decided I would watch some of his other videos. I almost spit out my coffee at a couple parts. Hilarious!! He is the epitome of almost every bad date I’ve ever had!

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Filed under Dating, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single

I Think My Date Was Married

I recently had an amazing date with a man where I thought things might actually go somewhere. It was a first date but actually the second time meeting each other. The first was a quick hour long walk with coffee just to see if we could stand being around each other. He seemed guarded but still was able to participate in the conversation. We gave each other a hug when we went to leave.

It took a couple weeks to get together again due to work and family priorities. We planned to meet up after I was done work on a Saturday. We would text here and there and claimed he was shy about texting because he wasn’t sure when I was working/sleeping (I work night shifts half the time). I told him straight out that it didn’t matter since I would reply when I could and it wouldn’t wake me up if he sent one while I was sleeping.

We met a local restaurant, shared an appetizer and a couple drinks. He seemed a lot more at ease than he was the first time we met. We talked more in depth and laughed about silly things. In short, we got along quite well and I was having a good time. Leading up to that night I wasn’t really sure about him.

After the restaurant we decide to head over to Chapters. As we are almost to the front doors he says, “Wait a second, I have to do this.” He then pulls me into him for a super sweet and romantic kiss!?! I will have to say it felt like I was swept of my feet. There was people all around so it wasn’t like it was in some secret corner. I asked where that came from and he replied, “I just wanted to.” He smiled a sexy smile then continued into the book store and on with laughing and talking until the place closed.

We then headed over to a different restaurant to have another couple drinks. He ends up driving me home and we have another romantic goodnight kiss/kisses. I’m left in awe and thinking, WOW.

The next day I send a text after work saying, “I hope our late night didn’t throw off your whole day.” No response….at all. Hmm..

Two days go by and I send another, “It’s confirmed, you don’t have a attachment disorder. lol” …something we joked about since I had taken abnormal psychology in college and had met people with the disorder. No response, none, dead air. WTF?

Finally, after 6 days I send a message stating, “It appears you’re no longer interested. I really didn’t expect that. Have a good one.” No response. At this point I didn’t expect one but really…what the hell happened?

I will add this part. He’s in the military. Just moved to this area a few months ago, bought a house and has his son full time. I can understand if he’s busy but if he declares he has his phone on him 24/7 (as he knows I do too) then there is no reason why he can’t respond, interested or not. As I’ve stated in previous posts, I don’t usually date military men. If they get posted somewhere else I can’t go with them due to my children’s father being here. I figured that he should be here for at least 8 years…and my relationships don’t usually last that long anyway. (Laugh, it’s funny. 😉 )

What guy is all romantic, engaging and sweeps a woman off her feet then falls off the face of the earth? After much thought…..a Married man. Now he did say he was separated for over a year….but now I’m wondering if he was just waiting for his wife to move to the area with him. Who really knows? At this point I don’t care anymore.

I took a few days to feel depressed about it because the man was really convincing. I thought I knew this game but apparently he found some new rules. I have deleted all his contact information so as not to be tempted to send any more messages.

As always, on to the next. 🙂

Comments, suggestions, epiphanies on this are always welcome…or if something similar has happened to you…let me know and/or share this post!

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Filed under Dating, Divorce, Love, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF

I Can’t Date Myself

When perusing the Internet I like to read quotes. I came across this one and it made me laugh:

“Reason why I’m single 1) I can’t date myself 2) I can’t date my celebrity crush 3) I can’t date food 4) I can’t date the Internet.” – unknown

So many truths here.

Although, I don’t know if I would want to date myself…I’m kind of bitchy sometimes. Sebastian Pigott wouldn’t have me, although I think I saw his lookalike on one of the dating sites. Food? We’re just friends with benefits but sometimes it’s too much of an emotional roller coaster. I’ve tried dating the Internet but it only wants the same thing that men want, money and sex.

😛

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He Has A Pinky Penis

There is obviously a link somewhere between men showing a woman they don’t know their penis and their self-esteem. That being said, I think a lot of guys need to be more careful about where and when they upload these pictures.

An example of an OOPSY: This has happened twice that I’ve seen. A man uploads a pic of his erect penis WITH his face in the picture and forgets to click that he wants it as Private. Pardon the pun. 😉

I noticed the first one because I had been talking to him on and off for a week. In the mobile app it showed that he lived close and he seemed nice. I had complained to him about penis pictures and how a lot of men only seem to want one thing. I can’t remember why I checked his profile again….but when I did I got a Big surprise. I promptly gave him royal shit because he obviously didn’t upload it for my benefit…which makes me wonder how many women did he have on the go? Ugh. Block – Delete.

The second one made the same OOPSY but this one surprised me….with his size. He had sent me a couple of messages but he behaved like a cocky bastard. (Puns are just too easy here.) I only replied out of boredom. He told me he could ‘rock my world’ and I wouldn’t walk right for days. Yes, this is where you roll your eyes because I sure did. However upright and forthcoming he was, he was still very handsome, tall and obviously worked out daily. Upon checking his pictures out again one day I noticed a new one:

Bathroom picture, pants to his knees and shot close enough that you could see his face and his penis, which was erect…I think. Now I understood why he was so over the top. He was compensating for something that he was lacking. I’m sorry, size might not matter to some, but something the size of my pinky finger could never do it for me.

Poor unfortunate soul.

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