Let’s Talk About Sex and Sluts

We all have that one friend who we think is a slut (women) or a stud (men). This usually means they have a lot more sex than the rest of us with a lot more people than what we would call normal. I bring this topic up because I have been faced with an issue when it comes to online dating and Sluts that I’m having trouble with.

Here is the scenario/issue:

I have a local acquaintance who is also actively meeting and dating people from online. We are both using the dating site Plenty of Fish. This means that all the local men on the site see us Both on there. My acquaintance has only been single for 6 months from a very long-term relationship. I would place her in the “fuck everything that moves” phase. She is quite open about how sexually active she has been, with who and whether or Not they used protection. Yes I know…Eww, right? Ugh.

I digress…..

The issue: Sometimes I go out dancing and this acquaintance comes with us. I have been standing beside her and a man will point at her then at myself with a look of recognition…..from the dating site. It’s happened more than once. I’m worried that these men will or do think I’m as EASY/SLUTTY as this woman is.

The Situation: One man who recognized us when we were out messaged us Both the next day. She then had this man over to her place that very night. Initially lied about having sex with him but couldn’t cover up the fact that she was upset that he wasn’t responding to her texts anymore. Meanwhile, he was actively sending me messages on POF and asking me out. I finally laid it out for him with this conversation. Changed name for privacy purposes.

Me: “You do know Sandra and I know each other right?”

Him: “Well yeah, she’s OK but I want to get to know you better, not her.”

Me: “You do know that Sandra and I talk too…right?”

Him: “I would think so.”

Me: “Knowing that, you do realize that she told me you two screwed at her place only 3 nights ago…right?”

Cue the crickets.

I suppose that’s two issues rolled into one. What do you do about being associated with slutty acquaintances  when you like the person but not what they do. Also, what to do about men who will screw any woman who will let them. I sure as HELL don’t want any part of that man/those men. As much as I would like to avoid them…it won’t always be laid out in front of me. (Pun intended…)

Comments, opinions, suggestions always welcome. 🙂



Filed under Dating, Divorce, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single

3 responses to “Let’s Talk About Sex and Sluts

  1. Your family you are stuck with. Your friends you choose. Guilt by association.

    Harsh, but true.

    You already knew this when you typed the post. You just wanted your fears confirmed. They are confirmed now.

    Sorry. 😦

    • This is why I call her an acquaintance. I’ve only known her a few months and met through other friends. I thought I had found a kindred spirit in that she is a single mom trying to make it as well. Once I found out more about her I started to distance myself.

  2. Average Guy

    Personally I would not presume woman A was a slut because she was friends with woman B who is (acts like) a slut. I have male friends that are sluts yet there are some aspects to them that I find appealing. I do distance myself when it comes to going to clubs etc with these “friends” mind you as I find their “game” embarassing…and don’t want any part of it.
    Guilty by association…to a degree…but generalizing based on the conduct of one…seems kind of highschool to me.
    For anyone that is dating…I really feel for you.
    Remember that dating is like constipation…a slow process of elimination.

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