Intense Eyes, Feeble Heart

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A few months ago I wrote a small series of posts about a man I called “The One Who Got Away.” I had finally concluded that I was a rebound and I was not happy about it. That being said, I still continued to see this man. He was so intense and I absolutely loved it!

In the 3 months we were seeing each other again we might have gotten together twice a month. He lived approximately an hour away and had his daughter most of the time. Usually he would come all the way to my city and to my house, or we would meet half way at a small town. As I have my kids half the time I offered more than once to drive the distance after his child went to bed. Basically if he could make time then I would take the distance. He never took me up on it.

About 2 months into it I became frustrated and finally sent a text saying:

“Look, if you’re interested, you’re interested. If you’re not, you’re not.”

I figured that would be the end of it because I know men do not like to be confronted like that. I don’t deal well with drama so I would be the last one to create it, normally. A couple of hours passed and I get a text from him saying:

“Do you want to go away to Niagara Falls with me?”

I was dumbfounded to say the least and got really excited. I started thinking that he really did want to be with me and it’s just the lack of time that was getting in the way.

The last time I physically saw him was the start of December when it was unseasonably warm. He took me shooting again but this time to teach me how to use a tactical shotgun. Afterwards we were sitting in his truck where he introduced a serious conversation.

“What is this?” he began while looking right at me. The man has intense blue eyes and when he looks at me I feel that he’s really looking at me.

“As I see it we’re just having fun,” I replied. 

He agreed and said he really liked spending time with me. At this point I’m thinking he’s “dumping” me……then he goes in a totally different direction. He goes on to tell me that he wants a positive female role model for his daughter and that he wants someone to be in his life. I basically agreed that I want the same things and it’s true, I do. He tells me he wants me to come to his place and spend the night there soon. I leave him thinking that things are finally going to progress further.

I thought wrong. I understand that Christmas is a busy time of year but if you can’t send a simple text message wishing someone Merry Christmas, then there is something wrong.

As December progressed the messages between us became few and far between. If there was an exchange it was because I started it. I invited him to my work Christmas party and at first sounded like he might be able to make it. There was a good band playing across the street from the party and I was hoping he would come be my dance partner. He didn’t make it. I was disappointed but still had a great time.

Holidays start and I hear nothing. Christmas comes, nothing. Finally Boxing Day I text:

“I hope you had a great Christmas. :)”

“Back at yah.” his reply.

………..Back at “yah”? Excuse my language but what the Fuck? This brief exchange cemented what I was already thinking….that he really didn’t give a shit about me. He was just dangling the proverbial carrot so I’d keep hanging on. I think this was very cruel of him.

Now I would not say I loved this man. I think over time it could have turned to that. I really liked him though. We had lots in common, we could do things together (shooting, rollerblading, etc) and we could talk. Not to mention that he had a job, his own place and was not addicted to drugs.

After the noodling this whole situation for a while I came to one conclusion. Either he was still with his girlfriend the whole time or he met someone closer to him. The latter was something I feared from the start. I had told him I refused to be a “temp” woman until he found someone closer. Either/or it would explain why I never did get to visit him at his house…or even knew where he lived. It would explain why he would come all the way here or we would meet half way. It explained a lot of things actually.

So, in short, I sent one last message. I asked him to DELETE all my contact info. I had let some time pass before sending that message. I didn’t hear anything back and I hope I never do. I have since deleted all his contact information as well.

It’s a new year now and things are looking good for the most part. I’ve met someone new and it’s at the stage where we are just seeing where things go. I’m very happy about it and welcome the fact that this man engages me in conversation and actually wants to see me despite living about 3 hours away! Perhaps someday I’ll write how we actually came to meet up when the distance is so great.

Don’t be discouraged from reading though, I have plenty of bad date stories I haven’t written about. I was recently reminded of one when someone commented on my last entry.

Comments, questions, insights are always welcome! 🙂

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6 Comments

Filed under Dating, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single, Trust

6 responses to “Intense Eyes, Feeble Heart

  1. “Back at yah”?! Are you kidding me?? That’s such a turn-off. WTF!

  2. Hope the new guy manages more eloquent texts than old intense eyes … Nice start to new year for you!! X

  3. Pingback: Part 1: Mr. Multiple Underlying Issues | Another Single Woman's Blog

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