The Disappearing Act

Have you ever started talking to someone from online or otherwise where it’s an almost daily thing. You get to know their schedule and when or when not to expect messages. You’re getting to know each other and sometimes the conversations can lead way past when you should be sleeping for work in the morning. Also, they make sure to tell you that their phone is on them all the time so text any time.

Then…all of a sudden…nothing…or almost nothing. It’s gone from all the time to:

“Text me if you’re bored and I’ll ignore it like I’m busy.”

What happened? I mean, really…what happened?

It’s been my experience that when this happens the person has found someone else. In essence it means that even though the person was acting like they were into you, it also means they were still looking. Perhaps they were into you and someone better looking, more money, or nicer car came along. Or worse, the person was married or has a girlfriend.

I call this type of behaviour “The Disappearing Act.” No one really knows why it happens. All I know for sure is that it wastes my time….which for anyone who knows me it screams DISRESPECT. Sure, I’ve been entertained by the conversation but it doesn’t mean I’m doing it for the good of my health.

I’ve had it where someone will talk to me for a week on the dating site then go silent, yet they still appear online. After another week I get a random message from the person with their phone number. You know what I did? I ignored it. I didn’t message back or text their number. This is a classic example as the person using me as a back up. No, thanks, not interested.

Sadly, there is nothing we can do about this behaviour. We have to live with it as it comes but when it does, don’t condone it. Ignore the person if they contact you again or call them out. Everyone has emergencies and can’t be available all the time, but we aren’t talk about that.

Let’s take control and make it:

“Text me but I’m ignoring YOU because you’re a time wasting jerk!”

As always, comments, questions, orders for my non-existant book are always welcome. 😛

P.S. This behaviour is not limited to just men, us women do it too. I don’t. I just get classified as a bitch when I say I’m not interested.

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3 Comments

Filed under Dating, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single

3 responses to “The Disappearing Act

  1. Advice by Amanda

    This is so frustrating! Usually, I’ll have a couple of good dates with someone, and they’ll say they’re going to call/text and then just don’t. There’s no point in making the effort to SAY you’re going to get in touch if you don’t have any intentions on following through. Honesty is clearly a thing of the past.

    • I have experience the same thing a few times. Have a great date or a few great dates with men and then all of a sudden they don’t have any time. I think it’s just another example of men who don’t know what they want, aside from sex. Which is a whole other ball game. You give it..they think you’re a slut. You don’t, they go elsewhere looking for it. Ugh….

  2. This is a fantastic post and for everyone who does not know it’s been entered for an ‘Amazing Post Award’ over at Only Dates. Great writing, fantastic subject and engaging comments. What’s not to love.

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