Monthly Archives: July 2013

Twitter: Hook up/Dating Site? with Screenshot

twitpic

This is a screen shot of the first time anyone has remotely asked me to “hook up” on Twitter…and I’m using the nicer words as the picture says it all! I’m not a fan of direct messages (DMs). Usually they are annoying automatic messages thanking me for following while directing me to their website to sell me something. Ugh.. If I want to go to the person’s site I will freakin’ click on the link they provide in their profile!

I digress…

I guess I should have asked if Twitter was a hook up site as it’s clear that this guy was trying to use it as such. I understand and LOVE that I can write raunchy tweets on Twitter. It suits my personality and how I write much more than Facebook where my close friendsand family might think I’m just whacked. (It’s a possibility they already do…) 😛 That being said, you just Don’t message people with crap like this….on ANY site. especially if you have Never talked to the person before.

I checked the guys pictures and he was hot. That being said, if he’s using Twitter to try and get his dink played with it’s either not him or there is something super wrong with him in another way. Perhaps he has one of these

Other people’s children I tell you.

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Filed under Dating, Online Dating, Single, Twitter

Review: Oshawa POF Event – Whiskey John’s

Last night I found myself with nothing much to do. I had spent roughly 6 hours working on my lawn in the hot sun and treated myself to a New York steak at the Lonestar. A male friend was texting me while I ate and an idea formed in my head. I clicked the Join button on the  POF app the make it show that I would be attending the event.

I had seen the Plenty of Fish event for Oshawa posted many times and always thought it would be fun to check it out and write a review. (As I did HERE for the Ottawa POF Event.)  In the back of my mind I had it as a back up plan if I didn’t find something to do. My idea was to take my friend with me and enter the event separately so I could get a perspective from both sexes. I figured that if the event was anything like the one in Ottawa that my friend would be attacked by all the single cougars.

Sadly, I arrived at my friends place to pick him up and he chickened out! I tried to convince him to come be my bodyguard instead but to no avail. Within 10 minutes of arriving I was off to Oshawa. An hour or so later I was in Oshawa following my GPS to where the event was being held. I made sure to check-in on Facebook as the only person who knew where I was at that point was the friend I tried to get to come along. At least if I disappeared the authorities had a starting point. 😛

I arrived at Whisky John’s at midnight. I think this was a good time as this meant people would have a few drinks in them and hopefully would be more social. I was wrong. It seemed like there were a lot of wall flowers there. Quite literally there was a line of older “bigger” men along the wall shrouded in darkness watching the door. I walked in, saw this then saw at least 3 of them check their phone revealing a blue glow. I could only guess they were checking their POF App because they all looked up at me and nodded their heads in recognition. That’s what I get for making it known I would be there. A little creepy but I guess I did it to myself…

I took a seat at the bar where there was light and ordered a drink. The bartender makes yummy Caesars I might add. I nursed that drink for almost an hour as I took in the rest of the event.

I was quite surprised to see that despite the wall of creepy men I first saw there was a younger crowd as well. There seemed to be something or someone for everyone there. The music was great for dancing and had a good range of styles. Even a TV with football for those who just wanted to sit and drink. It wasn’t as crowded as I thought it would be. I remember the Ottawa event was absolutely packed and you could barely move. It wasn’t the case here. The music was loud enough to dance but not too loud to talk. They had lots of pool tables too which is great for people who feel like doing something else while they chat.

It wasn’t long before my eye caught a couple that looked about mid-forties. They were seated across the bar from me in my direct line in sight. The woman was talking and the man was watching and hopefully listening intently….as that’s what it looked like he was doing. Every time I scanned the room I came back to them for a few seconds. I guessed I looked too long once because the man caught me. Ahh crap.. After that almost every time I looked at him after my scan he would glance up at me. The woman got up hugged the man, kissed him on the cheek and presumably went to the bathroom. The man got up too then looked over at me with a look and head raise that made me think he wanted to come over to me. Double crap! I looked down at my drink, sucked the rest of it back and got up to leave.

Just as I pushed my glass to the end of the bar one the wall flowers appeared out of no where beside me. He asked if he could buy me another drink. I politely declined and said I was leaving. I quickly left and went to my car. As I said, I nursed that drink for an hour. Does that mean this guy was watching and waiting for me to finish for that long? He couldn’t come talk to me first as it was clear I was there alone? Hmm… Kind of strange, nice, but strange.

I think if I were to go again I would have to bring friends. I could have easily had a great time there if I had people to talk to.

Not quite as screwed up of a night as when I was at the Ottawa POF Event where I was dealing with Mr. Multiple Underlying Issues.

😛

 

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Filed under Dating, POF, Single

It’s No Accident

NoAccident

I saw this word picture and it rung so true to me. It is especially true when it comes to dating. Every date and every person you meet has something to teach you even if you don’t realize it at the time. They could be teaching you something about yourself like I did in This post or it could be something totally random.

For example, I met a man about a month ago for coffee. We had absolutely no chemistry and parted ways never to contact each other again. That being said, he taught me how Not to set my Tim Hortons coffee cup on fire in the microwave at work. I tried the technique and it totally worked! I use it every shift! One of those things where you wonder how you didn’t think of it yourself but never quite pieced it together. (btw, I’m aware the cup says don’t microwave but I’m not allowed to leave work to get fresh coffee from the shop…and who likes cold coffee unless you specifically order it with ice!?!)

Have you ever learned something totally random from a date that you still use? Let me know in the comments or on the Facebook page. 🙂

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A Question Answered + Dating Sites Review

followyourheart

I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed but I have a link where I make myself available for questions from my readers. I got my first one this weekend and it’s a good one I think. A reader writes:

“Do u think POF or other “free” dating sites set you up. Let me explain they send you a “perfect” guy for yourself, he “sends ” you a message and then blam!! he;s gone! You want to believe if u upgrade “pay” u will b able to read this message and he is real???”

In response to this I would have to say I’m on the fence with this one. I believe there are sites that may do this in an effort to get your money but not all of them.

When it comes to Plenty of Fish (POF) and OkCupid all messages, sending and receiving is completely FREE. The only thing you pay for on this sites are what I call the “stalking” features. These include showing you when a person has been online, if they have read your message and how often they have viewed your profile. These sites make their money mainly from ads on the site. In addition when you upgrade to a paid membership you don’t have to see the ads. You just get to see the same pictures of the same men that seem to be on BOTH the sites.

That brings me to sites like Match.com, eHarmony and Lavalife. These sites are geared towards people who are supposedly more serious about meeting someone. It’s sad to say I have tried and/or paid for all of them. Match.com was a one month membership promotion that was half off. eHarmony was a 3 month trial membership for $20. I can’t remember the promotion that got me to try Lavalife but it had to have been cheap…as I’m cheap. 😛 After saying all that, I found there was one thing in common with ALL 3 of these sites. About 75% of the men on them where also on POF and/or OkCupid….the FREE sites.

Now, getting back to the original question, the only dating site there I felt that the messages might have been fake where from Zoosk. I found the site hard to navigate and almost everything I clicked on it tried to get me to buy a membership. As well I was getting constant e-mails from them even if someone just Looked at my profile. No, thanks. The messages from those guys on there can stay unread. In other words, I don’t recommend Zoosk at all as it’s spammy and money hungry.

Thanks to the reader for the question. It was fun to have something to write specifically about and turned into a short review of the many dating sites out there. I’ll gladly expand or clarify if there are any other questions about this.  If anyone else has any other questions for me, Click HERE and send them!!

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Filed under OKCupid, Online Dating, POF

The Depths of Being Shallow

deepshallow

Picking and choosing who and what we are attracted to is up to us right? Some would argue yes and some would argue no.

If you said yes then you’re probably thinking that you like someone because of attributes you chose that you want. This could be anything from physical appearance, personality characteristics, or what kind of car they drive.

For those who say no you may have come to the realization that a lot of what we are attracted to has been environmentally ingrained in us from birth. Things we like/dislike in a person have been taught to us by our parents, caregivers, etc as we grew up. In this respect it means we naturally and unconsciously seek out what has been planted in our psyche. I know from experience that it is very difficult to deviate from our “attraction zone.”

Sadly, this can also make us appear shallow. Can a man help that he prefers a woman with larger breasts? Can a woman help that she prefers a man who is taller than her?

Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how awesome a person is or how great their personality is. If you can’t imagine yourself eventually having sex with that person then there is no point in dating them.

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Crazy Revisited

crazy

Last night I tried something new in the way of meeting people. I had spent the day recovering from a night out (something I hadn’t done since New Years Eve) as well texting some friends while in and out of consciousness from the severe hangover. I want to add that I remember why I don’t do this. I wasted a perfectly good Sunday in bed…by myself! To make a longer story short, once I was mobile, I was bored.

Before long I was bathed and on my way to a small town not far from where I live. I was invited to hang out with a friend of mine and his friend. My friend made it sound like he was trying to set me up with his friend…and I thought, what the hell? Let’s give it a shot!

I get to the place where they were at, have a seat and greet them. The fucked up part is that I know BOTH of them…my friend…and his friend, which is a CRAZY I met about a year ago.

Just freakin’ Perfect.

All I got from my friend(who is military) was that his friend was ex-military, his first name and that he was single. I should have asked more….but due to trusting my friend I didn’t feel like I needed to.

Sigh.

So here’s the story about Mr. Crazy.

We met on one of the dating sites and eventually met for coffee that led to lunch that same day. As it was a week day and kids were in school I even ended up taking him out to the private beach I know of. The conversation was good and normal…except for the fact that he was on a short medical leave from the military due to a severe concussion. Hmm… after meeting Mr. Head Injury this information should have given me a clue. We parted ways with a hug and a promise to contact.

I got contacted alright. I didn’t hear anything for a few days and all of a sudden I started getting unsolicited dirty sexually explicit text messages from this man. As well he begged for naked pictures and promised to send me some in return. You know, this is something you might do with someone you are actually dating(depending on your comfort level)….not something you do with someone you have only met once.

Needless to say I gave him ROYAL SHIT and told him Never to contact me again. Two days later I get a message from him in which we have this conversation:

“Hey, how are you today, would you like to go for lunch?”

“Pardon me?”

“I think you’re awesome and thought we got along great. Don’t you think?”

“Do you not remember me telling you NOT to contact me after that bullshit two days ago?”

“What bullshit?”

“Really?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You asked for naked pictures of me and sent me explicit messages that I didn’t ask for?”

……..about 20 minutes go by before he answers finally.

“It must have been someone else, so how about that lunch?”

WTF?

No, I did not meet him for lunch…nor did I ever meet him again. This happened a couple more times where he seemed to have two different personalities…that doesn’t remember what the other did. One day I was at work and he “booty called” me while including a picture of his penis. WTF!?!  I believe I called him a disgusting pig and told him I was blocking his number. In which I promptly did.

So….there I was sitting beside my friend and across from Mr. Crazy. What the hell was I to do??

Apparently in the time it took for me to drive there,  Mr. Crazy had gleaned enough information from my friend to realize that he knew me. I’ll admit I was a little rude at first since the memories of his rudeness had come back to me.

“Hello….long time no see…”

“Ahh…you’re the crazy one…”  (and yes, I totally said that.)

He laughed it off and then came the awkward silence.

I decided it would be best to put out my hand say, “Let’s start again.” We shook hands and we all had some drinks. I ended up having to take my friend home because he had waaaay too much to drink. I was kind of glad for that as the conversation didn’t flow very well. I had asked about Mr. Crazy’s concussion and if that was why he left the military. He replied, “Oh…that was a bad time for me” then got really quiet. Hmm…yep, still crazy!

Looking back, this situation could have been worse. I was a little freaked out but I was there to have fun. I took the high/mature road and put the past behind me…well, long enough to write this blog the next day about it. 🙂

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Filed under Dating, Online Dating, POF, Single

7 Bad Date Exit Strategies

We’ve ALL been there. The Bad Date.

Sitting at a table across from your date and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of the situation. I’ve compiled a short list of ways to do this. Some require minimal pre-planning and some can be done on the fly. These are options that can be used when you don’t feel like saying to the person’s face:

” You’re a creepy bastard and you look NOTHING like your pictures. There’s no fucking way I want to stay another minute let alone EVER want to have sex with you.”

Most of us wouldn’t have the guts to say that in person so here’s what else you can do:

  1.  Go to the bathroom but don’t come back. This only works if you are seated where your date can’t see the bathroom AND the exit.
  2.  Tell your date you’re going to the bathroom. Do so but call/text a friend and ask them to call you in 10 minutes. Fake an emergency with your kids, parent or even your cat…despite if you even have kids or a cat.
  3. Download a free APP to your phone that will go off after a certain amount of time making it look you’re getting an emergency call or text. (Just in case you don’t have any friends…)
  4. Tell your date you didn’t get much sleep the night before and you have to work early in the morning.
  5. If you’re not in a coffee shop or restaurant where you can hide out in the bathroom, there is always the option to fake sick. You can say you weren’t feeling well before you arrived but didn’t want to stand the person up.
  6. Act like a total bitch/asshole, create a nervous twitch, pretend you have Tourette’s, or make up a strange OCD habit (count your steps and on every 5th step you clap 3 times)….all in an effort to make them think you’re screwed up and make THEM want to leave.
  7. Last but not least, if you’re really not sure about the date you can show up early and wait for the person to show up. Once you see them and it’s already clear you don’t want to be there, leave.

When it’s all said and done it’s best not to leave the person hanging. Dishonesty sucks and sadly these exit strategies use it. If the person seemed ok but you just weren’t interested. It’s best to text/e-mail then by the next day to tell them your lack of interest. If the person TOTALLY lied about everything, my BLOCK/DELETE method works just fine!

As well, stick with something short like a walk or coffee. You don’t want to get stuck in the situation where I write about Why I Don’t Do Dinner on a First Date.

Bad Date Bingo

Bad Date Bingo

Do you have any other ideas for exiting a bad date? Let me know in the comment section on the blog, Facebook or Twitter.

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Filed under Dating, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single

Video Introduction – It’s me!

I have no idea what made me think it was a good idea to make a video. I probably did about 52….hundred takes before I got one that I was semi-happy with. No editing, no camera crew….just me being me. Let me know what you all think other than I look pretty pastey….lack of sun and make up know-how makes Another Single Woman look like…well, you’ll see. 🙂

There you have it. Any questions or comments, let me know. 🙂

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Broke or Sexually Frustrated?

I was at work last night and to say the least it was a long night. As I’m a multi-tasker my head is always thinking of things I might want to write about. On my break I made myself laugh with this addition to Twitter:

Then I wondered, which one would I rather if I could choose….I’m still sitting on the fence when it comes to this one. For shits and giggles I made my first poll. Which one would you choose? Add a comment and tell me and my readers why you made that choice. 🙂

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