Category Archives: Online Dating

TMI His EX with Screenshot

exconvo

I think there were two messages before I asked this man what made him try Plenty of Fish. As you can see the conversation went totally awry at no fault of my own. I even warned him that he was giving me too much info….yet he still gave me more. This man is obviously still hurting and should spend some time with friends and family before he tries to find himself a woman.

It is my experience that if someone has verbal/textual diarrhea when it comes to their ex then they ARE NOT over them.

Am I wrong?

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Filed under Dating, Online Dating, POF, Single

Was it Her or Was it Me? It was HIM!

Men need to read this!

Was It Her Or Was It Me? The Douche In Me That I Don’t See

 

Men have to get that bringing up other women insults your date. Women don’t get jealous since it’s just a first date, it’s because the man is openly comparing us to other women. Keep that shit to yourself! We get nervous enough and the key is to make your date feel comfortable to want to open up….not create a competition.

I’ve met a few guys described in that post and I still get a text or two once in a while from them asking me out again.

I don’t reply.

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Filed under Dating, Online Dating, POF, Single

The Pink Panties

There are times when you feel like throwing caution to the wind and just going with the flow. There are also times where there are red flags and you should not ignore them. The experience I’m about to tell is one of those.

In about April of this year I found myself with a weekend off where my kids were with their dad. It was Saturday afternoon and plans I had made with friends had fallen through. A man had started sending me messages on POF. Another military man from the base located an hour from me. He seemed decent enough that after a couple hours of messages back and forth, I accepted his invitation for dinner.

I made the hour long drive to his city as there was more things to do there than in mine. We met at a restaurant and everything seemed cool. I will add that he was VERY French. As I’ve met quite a few men from the military on POF I’ve become used to filtering out the accent. I sometimes think it’s funny to hear how they say certain English words…even my own name as it starts with an H….H’s are difficult for them and I know this. 😛

We had a nice drink and chat at the first restaurant then he suggest going to another because he had discovered I loved wings. Everything seemed normal except I learned that he was only recently single for a month and that his ex girlfriend (also military) was still in the process of moving out. Hmm…

After eating I seemed comfortable with him enough to accept his invitation to watch some Big Bang Theory at his place. Yes, I know…you shouldn’t go to a guys house you just met but it had started raining. I wasn’t ready to go home yet and the rain made it so a walk would have been dismal.

I should have gone home.

I went to his place which was a small basement apartment. He had explained he was moving in another week to a house he had bought in a new subdivision. We settled on the couch and he made sure to sit right beside me and snuggled up. At this point I didn’t mind because who doesn’t like to snuggle?

About half way through the episode I had to use the washroom. He directs me to go through his bedroom where the bathroom is on the other side. I passed a drying rack on my way but had to go so bad something didn’t register at first. When I came out I did a quick sweep of the room with my eyes….because I’m nosy that way.

Fantasy novel (in French) by the bed, clothes neatly folded on the dresser, boxes half filled looking like he’s ready to move and pink panties hanging off the drying rack. PINK PANTIES? WTF…? This guy was 6’3″ and easily a muscular 190-200lbs. There is no freakin’ way he could fit into those.

That being said, he had told me his ex was in the process of moving out. I don’t know about you all…but if I’m moving out of someone’s place I’m pretty sure I’m not going to leave my PINK underwear hanging around, quite literally. As well, if my ex left his underwear hanging around I would have either burned it or thrown it in a garbage bag for them to pick up.

I went back out to his living room and pretended I hadn’t seen anything. I didn’t sit as close to him though. We watched the rest of the episode and he indicated that he wanted to make out with me. I decided I had nothing to lose said sure, if he could say my name.

Remember the whole “H” thing couple with the French accent? I wanted to get in one last laugh before I left this loser.

“Say my name.”

He shakes his head no.

“Come on, I want to hear you say it.”

“I cannot.”

“Really? It’s that hard?”

“Oui.”

“Oh I get it…do you even remember my name?” I ask jokingly.

He shakes his head.

Nice. What the fuck? I know I texted my name to him before I met him and I knew his name..and had said it a couple times. This indicated that he didn’t care to remember or know it.

It was at this point where my phone started ringing and it was coworkers wondering where I was. I usually attend local UFC showings with them….and usually the one who drives their drunk asses home. I used this excuse as my quick exit, but not before noticing a few pairs of high heeled shoes shoved to one side in the entry way. Hmm..

Needless to say I never contacted that guy again. I came to the conclusion that his girlfriend must have been on some course with the military and/or was out of town at that time. There is also the idea that she was staying at their new house while he was supposed to be packing. Who knows…I don’t…and I don’t care to know.

Le sigh.

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Twitter: Hook up/Dating Site? with Screenshot

twitpic

This is a screen shot of the first time anyone has remotely asked me to “hook up” on Twitter…and I’m using the nicer words as the picture says it all! I’m not a fan of direct messages (DMs). Usually they are annoying automatic messages thanking me for following while directing me to their website to sell me something. Ugh.. If I want to go to the person’s site I will freakin’ click on the link they provide in their profile!

I digress…

I guess I should have asked if Twitter was a hook up site as it’s clear that this guy was trying to use it as such. I understand and LOVE that I can write raunchy tweets on Twitter. It suits my personality and how I write much more than Facebook where my close friendsand family might think I’m just whacked. (It’s a possibility they already do…) 😛 That being said, you just Don’t message people with crap like this….on ANY site. especially if you have Never talked to the person before.

I checked the guys pictures and he was hot. That being said, if he’s using Twitter to try and get his dink played with it’s either not him or there is something super wrong with him in another way. Perhaps he has one of these

Other people’s children I tell you.

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A Question Answered + Dating Sites Review

followyourheart

I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed but I have a link where I make myself available for questions from my readers. I got my first one this weekend and it’s a good one I think. A reader writes:

“Do u think POF or other “free” dating sites set you up. Let me explain they send you a “perfect” guy for yourself, he “sends ” you a message and then blam!! he;s gone! You want to believe if u upgrade “pay” u will b able to read this message and he is real???”

In response to this I would have to say I’m on the fence with this one. I believe there are sites that may do this in an effort to get your money but not all of them.

When it comes to Plenty of Fish (POF) and OkCupid all messages, sending and receiving is completely FREE. The only thing you pay for on this sites are what I call the “stalking” features. These include showing you when a person has been online, if they have read your message and how often they have viewed your profile. These sites make their money mainly from ads on the site. In addition when you upgrade to a paid membership you don’t have to see the ads. You just get to see the same pictures of the same men that seem to be on BOTH the sites.

That brings me to sites like Match.com, eHarmony and Lavalife. These sites are geared towards people who are supposedly more serious about meeting someone. It’s sad to say I have tried and/or paid for all of them. Match.com was a one month membership promotion that was half off. eHarmony was a 3 month trial membership for $20. I can’t remember the promotion that got me to try Lavalife but it had to have been cheap…as I’m cheap. 😛 After saying all that, I found there was one thing in common with ALL 3 of these sites. About 75% of the men on them where also on POF and/or OkCupid….the FREE sites.

Now, getting back to the original question, the only dating site there I felt that the messages might have been fake where from Zoosk. I found the site hard to navigate and almost everything I clicked on it tried to get me to buy a membership. As well I was getting constant e-mails from them even if someone just Looked at my profile. No, thanks. The messages from those guys on there can stay unread. In other words, I don’t recommend Zoosk at all as it’s spammy and money hungry.

Thanks to the reader for the question. It was fun to have something to write specifically about and turned into a short review of the many dating sites out there. I’ll gladly expand or clarify if there are any other questions about this.  If anyone else has any other questions for me, Click HERE and send them!!

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Filed under OKCupid, Online Dating, POF

The Depths of Being Shallow

deepshallow

Picking and choosing who and what we are attracted to is up to us right? Some would argue yes and some would argue no.

If you said yes then you’re probably thinking that you like someone because of attributes you chose that you want. This could be anything from physical appearance, personality characteristics, or what kind of car they drive.

For those who say no you may have come to the realization that a lot of what we are attracted to has been environmentally ingrained in us from birth. Things we like/dislike in a person have been taught to us by our parents, caregivers, etc as we grew up. In this respect it means we naturally and unconsciously seek out what has been planted in our psyche. I know from experience that it is very difficult to deviate from our “attraction zone.”

Sadly, this can also make us appear shallow. Can a man help that he prefers a woman with larger breasts? Can a woman help that she prefers a man who is taller than her?

Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how awesome a person is or how great their personality is. If you can’t imagine yourself eventually having sex with that person then there is no point in dating them.

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Crazy Revisited

crazy

Last night I tried something new in the way of meeting people. I had spent the day recovering from a night out (something I hadn’t done since New Years Eve) as well texting some friends while in and out of consciousness from the severe hangover. I want to add that I remember why I don’t do this. I wasted a perfectly good Sunday in bed…by myself! To make a longer story short, once I was mobile, I was bored.

Before long I was bathed and on my way to a small town not far from where I live. I was invited to hang out with a friend of mine and his friend. My friend made it sound like he was trying to set me up with his friend…and I thought, what the hell? Let’s give it a shot!

I get to the place where they were at, have a seat and greet them. The fucked up part is that I know BOTH of them…my friend…and his friend, which is a CRAZY I met about a year ago.

Just freakin’ Perfect.

All I got from my friend(who is military) was that his friend was ex-military, his first name and that he was single. I should have asked more….but due to trusting my friend I didn’t feel like I needed to.

Sigh.

So here’s the story about Mr. Crazy.

We met on one of the dating sites and eventually met for coffee that led to lunch that same day. As it was a week day and kids were in school I even ended up taking him out to the private beach I know of. The conversation was good and normal…except for the fact that he was on a short medical leave from the military due to a severe concussion. Hmm… after meeting Mr. Head Injury this information should have given me a clue. We parted ways with a hug and a promise to contact.

I got contacted alright. I didn’t hear anything for a few days and all of a sudden I started getting unsolicited dirty sexually explicit text messages from this man. As well he begged for naked pictures and promised to send me some in return. You know, this is something you might do with someone you are actually dating(depending on your comfort level)….not something you do with someone you have only met once.

Needless to say I gave him ROYAL SHIT and told him Never to contact me again. Two days later I get a message from him in which we have this conversation:

“Hey, how are you today, would you like to go for lunch?”

“Pardon me?”

“I think you’re awesome and thought we got along great. Don’t you think?”

“Do you not remember me telling you NOT to contact me after that bullshit two days ago?”

“What bullshit?”

“Really?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You asked for naked pictures of me and sent me explicit messages that I didn’t ask for?”

……..about 20 minutes go by before he answers finally.

“It must have been someone else, so how about that lunch?”

WTF?

No, I did not meet him for lunch…nor did I ever meet him again. This happened a couple more times where he seemed to have two different personalities…that doesn’t remember what the other did. One day I was at work and he “booty called” me while including a picture of his penis. WTF!?!  I believe I called him a disgusting pig and told him I was blocking his number. In which I promptly did.

So….there I was sitting beside my friend and across from Mr. Crazy. What the hell was I to do??

Apparently in the time it took for me to drive there,  Mr. Crazy had gleaned enough information from my friend to realize that he knew me. I’ll admit I was a little rude at first since the memories of his rudeness had come back to me.

“Hello….long time no see…”

“Ahh…you’re the crazy one…”  (and yes, I totally said that.)

He laughed it off and then came the awkward silence.

I decided it would be best to put out my hand say, “Let’s start again.” We shook hands and we all had some drinks. I ended up having to take my friend home because he had waaaay too much to drink. I was kind of glad for that as the conversation didn’t flow very well. I had asked about Mr. Crazy’s concussion and if that was why he left the military. He replied, “Oh…that was a bad time for me” then got really quiet. Hmm…yep, still crazy!

Looking back, this situation could have been worse. I was a little freaked out but I was there to have fun. I took the high/mature road and put the past behind me…well, long enough to write this blog the next day about it. 🙂

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7 Bad Date Exit Strategies

We’ve ALL been there. The Bad Date.

Sitting at a table across from your date and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of the situation. I’ve compiled a short list of ways to do this. Some require minimal pre-planning and some can be done on the fly. These are options that can be used when you don’t feel like saying to the person’s face:

” You’re a creepy bastard and you look NOTHING like your pictures. There’s no fucking way I want to stay another minute let alone EVER want to have sex with you.”

Most of us wouldn’t have the guts to say that in person so here’s what else you can do:

  1.  Go to the bathroom but don’t come back. This only works if you are seated where your date can’t see the bathroom AND the exit.
  2.  Tell your date you’re going to the bathroom. Do so but call/text a friend and ask them to call you in 10 minutes. Fake an emergency with your kids, parent or even your cat…despite if you even have kids or a cat.
  3. Download a free APP to your phone that will go off after a certain amount of time making it look you’re getting an emergency call or text. (Just in case you don’t have any friends…)
  4. Tell your date you didn’t get much sleep the night before and you have to work early in the morning.
  5. If you’re not in a coffee shop or restaurant where you can hide out in the bathroom, there is always the option to fake sick. You can say you weren’t feeling well before you arrived but didn’t want to stand the person up.
  6. Act like a total bitch/asshole, create a nervous twitch, pretend you have Tourette’s, or make up a strange OCD habit (count your steps and on every 5th step you clap 3 times)….all in an effort to make them think you’re screwed up and make THEM want to leave.
  7. Last but not least, if you’re really not sure about the date you can show up early and wait for the person to show up. Once you see them and it’s already clear you don’t want to be there, leave.

When it’s all said and done it’s best not to leave the person hanging. Dishonesty sucks and sadly these exit strategies use it. If the person seemed ok but you just weren’t interested. It’s best to text/e-mail then by the next day to tell them your lack of interest. If the person TOTALLY lied about everything, my BLOCK/DELETE method works just fine!

As well, stick with something short like a walk or coffee. You don’t want to get stuck in the situation where I write about Why I Don’t Do Dinner on a First Date.

Bad Date Bingo

Bad Date Bingo

Do you have any other ideas for exiting a bad date? Let me know in the comment section on the blog, Facebook or Twitter.

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“User has been deleted.”

ARGH…

For those of you who use Plenty of Fish I’m sure you’ve all seen the title of this blog, “User has been deleted.” At first you think, what did that person do to be deleted? They seemed nice. You know what..they probably were, but they deleted their account of their own free will.

I deleted my Plenty of Fish account today (for the millionth time) and all the people I had talked to (and not blocked) now see “User has been deleted” where the conversation once was. I may have to contact POF about this. Perhaps ask them to add something to their code that differentiates between if the person was deleted by staff or deleted it themselves.

I wouldn’t care so much if I lived in a big city….but I do not.

——-

For the record, no, haven’t found a man. Just tired of it all…until I get bored again and go back on. I did get a little offended when a guy sent me a message saying,

“You’ve been on here a long time, what’s wrong with you?”

Ha! More like what’s wrong with you?!? …and the rest of the hard drug smoking, jobless, sex crazed men which is the epitome of what this area has to offer. This guy listed himself as “unimployed” , had a complete list of all the video games he likes to play and had a picture of himself with drug paraphernalia in the background.

Yep, what’s wrong with me….

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Slap You Silly

I’m sitting here and I’m thinking about some of the things guys do when dating that makes me want to slap them silly. So, here is a list.

Guys who say they love to try new things but WON’T try new things….I’m going to slap you silly.

Men who think they are better than you just because they have a nicer car, yet live with their parents…oh you bet I want to slap you silly.

The guys who think that they still look like they did 10 years ago. Are you kidding? Really? I look at the picture, washboard abs, I look at you, beer belly. Really? Slapping you silly is a must. Or maybe someone already did if you think you still look like that!

The guys who think they are ready to date when they are only separated from their wives(if at all) for two weeks. Not only am I going to slap you silly, so is YOUR wife! Because that’s what you just called her on our first date. WTF!?!

The guys who call me a bitch for telling them I WON’T have sex with them after them sending me ONE message telling me they like my legs. Yeah, every woman should slap you silly….. in the junk….with a hammer. Just sayin’.

The guys who send messages out to so many women they don’t Remember who they have messaged before….and been rejected. Not only am I going to slap you silly but your keyboard should too…and your mother who lives upstairs.

Just when I think I’m about done, I can’t forget the guys who send messages just after the bars close and are trolling the dating sites for sex. If you’re that fucking ugly that you can’t pick up a leftover at the bar….you need to slap YOURSELF! When I say Ugly I’m not talking about looks. It means your personality and attitude is so horrible that even the drunkest chick wouldn’t come home with you. It’s not like she could see anyway!

So..in conclusion, there are lots of reasons why men need to have hand prints on their faces. Any men out there have reasons why women should be slapped silly? What do we do that makes us slap/spank worthy? Ha…see what I did there? I said SPANK..which most men associate with sex….they have forgotten what they were mad about. 😛

There may be a time when I will add to this list, any suggestions?

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