Somehow I made the list of 10 Best Dating Blogs for 30 Somethings. The link is here. It was definitely a nice surprise to wake up to this today.
Yes, I know I’ve been lacking in my writing. I’m going to be quick to blame being promoted to a new job which also requires a whole new routine and sleeping schedule. It’s been a month in my new position and I’m just now getting used to it….and the working 6 nights a week thing.
I’ve still been having dates when I can but many men don’t understand why I have to work so much now. It’s looking like dating from work may be my only option now as I’m always there. Do I really want to take that route? I tried it once 2 years ago and it was a disaster. Although the guy was a self-proclaimed asshole…I should have gotten a clue there. 😛 Sounds like a future blog post to me…
More blogs to come soon, I promise. 🙂
I was also nominated in the Only Dates Blog Awards for 2014. I write for the fun of it but if they want to give me an award for doing something I love…go for it! 🙂
This is a screen shot of the first time anyone has remotely asked me to “hook up” on Twitter…and I’m using the nicer words as the picture says it all! I’m not a fan of direct messages (DMs). Usually they are annoying automatic messages thanking me for following while directing me to their website to sell me something. Ugh.. If I want to go to the person’s site I will freakin’ click on the link they provide in their profile!
I guess I should have asked if Twitter was a hook up site as it’s clear that this guy was trying to use it as such. I understand and LOVE that I can write raunchy tweets on Twitter. It suits my personality and how I write much more than Facebook where my close friendsand family might think I’m just whacked. (It’s a possibility they already do…) 😛 That being said, you just Don’t message people with crap like this….on ANY site. especially if you have Never talked to the person before.
I checked the guys pictures and he was hot. That being said, if he’s using Twitter to try and get his dink played with it’s either not him or there is something super wrong with him in another way. Perhaps he has one of these…
Other people’s children I tell you.
Last night I found myself with nothing much to do. I had spent roughly 6 hours working on my lawn in the hot sun and treated myself to a New York steak at the Lonestar. A male friend was texting me while I ate and an idea formed in my head. I clicked the Join button on the POF app the make it show that I would be attending the event.
I had seen the Plenty of Fish event for Oshawa posted many times and always thought it would be fun to check it out and write a review. (As I did HERE for the Ottawa POF Event.) In the back of my mind I had it as a back up plan if I didn’t find something to do. My idea was to take my friend with me and enter the event separately so I could get a perspective from both sexes. I figured that if the event was anything like the one in Ottawa that my friend would be attacked by all the single cougars.
Sadly, I arrived at my friends place to pick him up and he chickened out! I tried to convince him to come be my bodyguard instead but to no avail. Within 10 minutes of arriving I was off to Oshawa. An hour or so later I was in Oshawa following my GPS to where the event was being held. I made sure to check-in on Facebook as the only person who knew where I was at that point was the friend I tried to get to come along. At least if I disappeared the authorities had a starting point. 😛
I arrived at Whisky John’s at midnight. I think this was a good time as this meant people would have a few drinks in them and hopefully would be more social. I was wrong. It seemed like there were a lot of wall flowers there. Quite literally there was a line of older “bigger” men along the wall shrouded in darkness watching the door. I walked in, saw this then saw at least 3 of them check their phone revealing a blue glow. I could only guess they were checking their POF App because they all looked up at me and nodded their heads in recognition. That’s what I get for making it known I would be there. A little creepy but I guess I did it to myself…
I took a seat at the bar where there was light and ordered a drink. The bartender makes yummy Caesars I might add. I nursed that drink for almost an hour as I took in the rest of the event.
I was quite surprised to see that despite the wall of creepy men I first saw there was a younger crowd as well. There seemed to be something or someone for everyone there. The music was great for dancing and had a good range of styles. Even a TV with football for those who just wanted to sit and drink. It wasn’t as crowded as I thought it would be. I remember the Ottawa event was absolutely packed and you could barely move. It wasn’t the case here. The music was loud enough to dance but not too loud to talk. They had lots of pool tables too which is great for people who feel like doing something else while they chat.
It wasn’t long before my eye caught a couple that looked about mid-forties. They were seated across the bar from me in my direct line in sight. The woman was talking and the man was watching and hopefully listening intently….as that’s what it looked like he was doing. Every time I scanned the room I came back to them for a few seconds. I guessed I looked too long once because the man caught me. Ahh crap.. After that almost every time I looked at him after my scan he would glance up at me. The woman got up hugged the man, kissed him on the cheek and presumably went to the bathroom. The man got up too then looked over at me with a look and head raise that made me think he wanted to come over to me. Double crap! I looked down at my drink, sucked the rest of it back and got up to leave.
Just as I pushed my glass to the end of the bar one the wall flowers appeared out of no where beside me. He asked if he could buy me another drink. I politely declined and said I was leaving. I quickly left and went to my car. As I said, I nursed that drink for an hour. Does that mean this guy was watching and waiting for me to finish for that long? He couldn’t come talk to me first as it was clear I was there alone? Hmm… Kind of strange, nice, but strange.
I think if I were to go again I would have to bring friends. I could have easily had a great time there if I had people to talk to.
Not quite as screwed up of a night as when I was at the Ottawa POF Event where I was dealing with Mr. Multiple Underlying Issues.
Filed under Dating, POF, Single
I saw this word picture and it rung so true to me. It is especially true when it comes to dating. Every date and every person you meet has something to teach you even if you don’t realize it at the time. They could be teaching you something about yourself like I did in This post or it could be something totally random.
For example, I met a man about a month ago for coffee. We had absolutely no chemistry and parted ways never to contact each other again. That being said, he taught me how Not to set my Tim Hortons coffee cup on fire in the microwave at work. I tried the technique and it totally worked! I use it every shift! One of those things where you wonder how you didn’t think of it yourself but never quite pieced it together. (btw, I’m aware the cup says don’t microwave but I’m not allowed to leave work to get fresh coffee from the shop…and who likes cold coffee unless you specifically order it with ice!?!)
Have you ever learned something totally random from a date that you still use? Let me know in the comments or on the Facebook page. 🙂
Filed under Dating, Single
We’ve ALL been there. The Bad Date.
Sitting at a table across from your date and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of the situation. I’ve compiled a short list of ways to do this. Some require minimal pre-planning and some can be done on the fly. These are options that can be used when you don’t feel like saying to the person’s face:
” You’re a creepy bastard and you look NOTHING like your pictures. There’s no fucking way I want to stay another minute let alone EVER want to have sex with you.”
Most of us wouldn’t have the guts to say that in person so here’s what else you can do:
- Go to the bathroom but don’t come back. This only works if you are seated where your date can’t see the bathroom AND the exit.
- Tell your date you’re going to the bathroom. Do so but call/text a friend and ask them to call you in 10 minutes. Fake an emergency with your kids, parent or even your cat…despite if you even have kids or a cat.
- Download a free APP to your phone that will go off after a certain amount of time making it look you’re getting an emergency call or text. (Just in case you don’t have any friends…)
- Tell your date you didn’t get much sleep the night before and you have to work early in the morning.
- If you’re not in a coffee shop or restaurant where you can hide out in the bathroom, there is always the option to fake sick. You can say you weren’t feeling well before you arrived but didn’t want to stand the person up.
- Act like a total bitch/asshole, create a nervous twitch, pretend you have Tourette’s, or make up a strange OCD habit (count your steps and on every 5th step you clap 3 times)….all in an effort to make them think you’re screwed up and make THEM want to leave.
- Last but not least, if you’re really not sure about the date you can show up early and wait for the person to show up. Once you see them and it’s already clear you don’t want to be there, leave.
When it’s all said and done it’s best not to leave the person hanging. Dishonesty sucks and sadly these exit strategies use it. If the person seemed ok but you just weren’t interested. It’s best to text/e-mail then by the next day to tell them your lack of interest. If the person TOTALLY lied about everything, my BLOCK/DELETE method works just fine!
As well, stick with something short like a walk or coffee. You don’t want to get stuck in the situation where I write about Why I Don’t Do Dinner on a First Date.
Bad Date Bingo
Do you have any other ideas for exiting a bad date? Let me know in the comment section on the blog, Facebook or Twitter.
I have no idea what made me think it was a good idea to make a video. I probably did about 52….hundred takes before I got one that I was semi-happy with. No editing, no camera crew….just me being me. Let me know what you all think other than I look pretty pastey….lack of sun and make up know-how makes Another Single Woman look like…well, you’ll see. 🙂
There you have it. Any questions or comments, let me know. 🙂
Filed under Dating, Single
One of my Facebook friends shared this to my wall yesterday and I just had to laugh. I could have written this myself. There’s just something about rose coloured glasses that make us so Stupid. Love truly does make us blind. You would think that we would learn from our mistakes….but no. Sadly men keep coming up with different ways to trick us into be Stupid….or maybe we just let them.
You’re NOT ready to date if you CANNOT stop talking about your ex. I understand that if you have kids then you will always have contact with the ex….but you don’t have to mention or talk about the ex. I think we’ve evolved enough that we won’t assume the children just popped up out of nowhere.
With these statements in mind, I really wish people would take the time to heal before attempting to date. Go out with your friends, make new ones, but PLEASE do not ask out women who are Not looking for just friends then use them as a sounding board about your ex. This has happened to me more than once. I make it quite clear in person and in my profile what I’m looking for. Ignoring what I want is another example of disrespect.
I firmly believe that if one doesn’t take the time to reflect that it will only sabotage any new relationship. What often happens when people jump into something new right away is that you behave the same as you did in the last relationship….and you expect the new person to behave like the ex.
Example: The ex went out with their friends and you later find out that they cheated on you that same night in turn destroying your trust. You break up and you meet someone new. Someone new wants to go out with their friends but you think if your girl/boyfriend goes out they will cheat. Why doesn’t your new relationship have to suffer for the mistakes your ex made?
Signs you’re NOT ready to Date:
- All you talk about is your Ex. What he/she is doing, what they used to do, etc.
- You’re in the process of a messy court battle – Divorce, Custody, etc.
- You have pictures of you and your ex together still on your walls, bedroom, phone and Facebook. I get that if you have kids you may want to save the pictures for them. I don’t think it’s right to go to someone’s place for the first time and see lovey dovey pictures of my date and his ex. Same goes with wedding pictures on Facebook. If I add someone and their profile picture is a wedding shot…Umm No. ( It’s happened…)
- You talk badly about your ex in front of your kids. This is an absolute NO NO even if you hate your ex 10 years later.
- You send your ex nasty text messages and e-mails just to try and hurt them…and then tell people about it. This is Harrassment. The also includes writing horrible status messages about your ex. No one wants to read that drama, or any drama.
- You drive by your ex’s place to see what they are doing or if someone else is there. This is Stalking and is Never acceptable.
To conclude I will say it’s ok to have momentary relapses of hate for the ex…but please, try to do it around friends or other people who understand your plight….or start a blog. 😛
Comments always welcome and please share! Get the message out about moving on!
I have often complained using Facebook, Twitter or directly to my friends about what people do (or don’t do) when they are attempting to meet people online. I’ve started documenting some of this on my phone using the Screen Capture function. I’ve modified the screen shots to hide the person’s username and face for their privacy. I didn’t hide me…well, because you all know it’s me! 🙂
I want you to look closely at this picture. First I was taking a picture of the fact that once again another man has made the typo of “women” instead of “woman”. Second. I noticed that he says he’s looking to find someone to marry. I have often wondered if these men subliminally don’t know what they want so they type “women” and their brain just doesn’t register the typo. I have seen it A LOT so it’s not just this guy.
Here we have a classic example of either someone who is Really new to online dating or is just lazy. I do realize that not every person is going to respond to every message they get but at least try to put some effort into it. Saying just “hi” or “hello” is not acceptable. That being said, I have received the opposite before as well. I’ve had people send me paragraphs in a First message where I had to reply that I wasn’t interested for whatever reason (distance, etc). Sadly, due to my frustration with these people I sometimes reply in a bit of a bitchy manner. You see this in this message and will see more of it in some other screen shots. In his profile he lists that he has a Masters Degree and bunch of other intellectual “stuff”. Impressive but what’s he going to do? Walk around with his degree stapled to his shirt and hope it gets him past the awkward moment when all he says is “Hi.” ???
This guy here lists himself as wanting a relationship. His profile seemed decent and he looked good too so I figured I might as well send a message. It wasn’t long before he kept trying to carry the conversation in a different direction. As you can see from the screen shot I called him out on it. It’s no wonder us women get confused then get defensive when a real man messages us. Yes, the messages were happening after midnight but it was a Tuesday night and I was at work….so it’s less likely the guy was drunk…less likely but who knows!
I am not going to judge someone for not having a car. In this day and age cars/gas are getting more and more expensive. I have dated men who do not have cars but they usually lived in the same city as myself. Lately I’ve had many men from all over (20km and more) message me and want to meet me yet they have no mode of transportation. They either expect that since I have car that I’m going to come get them or they offer me money for the gas. I’m sorry but I am Not a taxi. When it comes to something like that I expect 50/50. Gas money and driving time…because Time is a HUGE deal when you’re a parent.
This man is in his early 40’s and I normally wouldn’t have seen his profile but he had checked me out. I clicked on it and he had only the one picture on his profile. Classic bathroom picture yet he’s wearing Sunglasses. So, being the bitch that you all know I can be, I call him out on it. He says he wants casual/no commitment and writes that he’s looking for “fun excursions”. We all know what that means… He tries to explain himself out of it but I’m not buying it at all. He then shared with me another picture where he looked NOTHING like his original picture…as in way older and heavier. I don’t care if a man is burly. It looks good on most men…but don’t hide yourself and think it’s going to be ok when the person finally see what you Really look like. Everyone deserves to be loved but no one deserves to be lied to!
There is just NO helping this guy. He seems to think it’s perfectly OK to tell a woman he’s only just started talking to that his “Junk” is “hairless”. Wow, as you can see I was quite surprised to read that. Where he says he’s sorry in the first message I had just finished explaining that certain comments come across badly over text.
Well, I hope you all got a good laugh at some of the stuff I’ve had to deal with. I’m starting to think I should try speed dating as this online thing doesn’t seem to be working out. 😛