Men need to read this!
Men have to get that bringing up other women insults your date. Women don’t get jealous since it’s just a first date, it’s because the man is openly comparing us to other women. Keep that shit to yourself! We get nervous enough and the key is to make your date feel comfortable to want to open up….not create a competition.
I’ve met a few guys described in that post and I still get a text or two once in a while from them asking me out again.
I don’t reply.
I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed but I have a link where I make myself available for questions from my readers. I got my first one this weekend and it’s a good one I think. A reader writes:
“Do u think POF or other “free” dating sites set you up. Let me explain they send you a “perfect” guy for yourself, he “sends ” you a message and then blam!! he;s gone! You want to believe if u upgrade “pay” u will b able to read this message and he is real???”
In response to this I would have to say I’m on the fence with this one. I believe there are sites that may do this in an effort to get your money but not all of them.
When it comes to Plenty of Fish (POF) and OkCupid all messages, sending and receiving is completely FREE. The only thing you pay for on this sites are what I call the “stalking” features. These include showing you when a person has been online, if they have read your message and how often they have viewed your profile. These sites make their money mainly from ads on the site. In addition when you upgrade to a paid membership you don’t have to see the ads. You just get to see the same pictures of the same men that seem to be on BOTH the sites.
That brings me to sites like Match.com, eHarmony and Lavalife. These sites are geared towards people who are supposedly more serious about meeting someone. It’s sad to say I have tried and/or paid for all of them. Match.com was a one month membership promotion that was half off. eHarmony was a 3 month trial membership for $20. I can’t remember the promotion that got me to try Lavalife but it had to have been cheap…as I’m cheap. 😛 After saying all that, I found there was one thing in common with ALL 3 of these sites. About 75% of the men on them where also on POF and/or OkCupid….the FREE sites.
Now, getting back to the original question, the only dating site there I felt that the messages might have been fake where from Zoosk. I found the site hard to navigate and almost everything I clicked on it tried to get me to buy a membership. As well I was getting constant e-mails from them even if someone just Looked at my profile. No, thanks. The messages from those guys on there can stay unread. In other words, I don’t recommend Zoosk at all as it’s spammy and money hungry.
Thanks to the reader for the question. It was fun to have something to write specifically about and turned into a short review of the many dating sites out there. I’ll gladly expand or clarify if there are any other questions about this. If anyone else has any other questions for me, Click HERE and send them!!
Picking and choosing who and what we are attracted to is up to us right? Some would argue yes and some would argue no.
If you said yes then you’re probably thinking that you like someone because of attributes you chose that you want. This could be anything from physical appearance, personality characteristics, or what kind of car they drive.
For those who say no you may have come to the realization that a lot of what we are attracted to has been environmentally ingrained in us from birth. Things we like/dislike in a person have been taught to us by our parents, caregivers, etc as we grew up. In this respect it means we naturally and unconsciously seek out what has been planted in our psyche. I know from experience that it is very difficult to deviate from our “attraction zone.”
Sadly, this can also make us appear shallow. Can a man help that he prefers a woman with larger breasts? Can a woman help that she prefers a man who is taller than her?
Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how awesome a person is or how great their personality is. If you can’t imagine yourself eventually having sex with that person then there is no point in dating them.
We’ve ALL been there. The Bad Date.
Sitting at a table across from your date and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of the situation. I’ve compiled a short list of ways to do this. Some require minimal pre-planning and some can be done on the fly. These are options that can be used when you don’t feel like saying to the person’s face:
” You’re a creepy bastard and you look NOTHING like your pictures. There’s no fucking way I want to stay another minute let alone EVER want to have sex with you.”
Most of us wouldn’t have the guts to say that in person so here’s what else you can do:
- Go to the bathroom but don’t come back. This only works if you are seated where your date can’t see the bathroom AND the exit.
- Tell your date you’re going to the bathroom. Do so but call/text a friend and ask them to call you in 10 minutes. Fake an emergency with your kids, parent or even your cat…despite if you even have kids or a cat.
- Download a free APP to your phone that will go off after a certain amount of time making it look you’re getting an emergency call or text. (Just in case you don’t have any friends…)
- Tell your date you didn’t get much sleep the night before and you have to work early in the morning.
- If you’re not in a coffee shop or restaurant where you can hide out in the bathroom, there is always the option to fake sick. You can say you weren’t feeling well before you arrived but didn’t want to stand the person up.
- Act like a total bitch/asshole, create a nervous twitch, pretend you have Tourette’s, or make up a strange OCD habit (count your steps and on every 5th step you clap 3 times)….all in an effort to make them think you’re screwed up and make THEM want to leave.
- Last but not least, if you’re really not sure about the date you can show up early and wait for the person to show up. Once you see them and it’s already clear you don’t want to be there, leave.
When it’s all said and done it’s best not to leave the person hanging. Dishonesty sucks and sadly these exit strategies use it. If the person seemed ok but you just weren’t interested. It’s best to text/e-mail then by the next day to tell them your lack of interest. If the person TOTALLY lied about everything, my BLOCK/DELETE method works just fine!
As well, stick with something short like a walk or coffee. You don’t want to get stuck in the situation where I write about Why I Don’t Do Dinner on a First Date.
Bad Date Bingo
Do you have any other ideas for exiting a bad date? Let me know in the comment section on the blog, Facebook or Twitter.
I have no idea what made me think it was a good idea to make a video. I probably did about 52….hundred takes before I got one that I was semi-happy with. No editing, no camera crew….just me being me. Let me know what you all think other than I look pretty pastey….lack of sun and make up know-how makes Another Single Woman look like…well, you’ll see. 🙂
There you have it. Any questions or comments, let me know. 🙂
Filed under Dating, Single
For those of you who use Plenty of Fish I’m sure you’ve all seen the title of this blog, “User has been deleted.” At first you think, what did that person do to be deleted? They seemed nice. You know what..they probably were, but they deleted their account of their own free will.
I deleted my Plenty of Fish account today (for the millionth time) and all the people I had talked to (and not blocked) now see “User has been deleted” where the conversation once was. I may have to contact POF about this. Perhaps ask them to add something to their code that differentiates between if the person was deleted by staff or deleted it themselves.
I wouldn’t care so much if I lived in a big city….but I do not.
For the record, no, haven’t found a man. Just tired of it all…until I get bored again and go back on. I did get a little offended when a guy sent me a message saying,
“You’ve been on here a long time, what’s wrong with you?”
Ha! More like what’s wrong with you?!? …and the rest of the hard drug smoking, jobless, sex crazed men which is the epitome of what this area has to offer. This guy listed himself as “unimployed” , had a complete list of all the video games he likes to play and had a picture of himself with drug paraphernalia in the background.
Yep, what’s wrong with me….
I’m sitting here and I’m thinking about some of the things guys do when dating that makes me want to slap them silly. So, here is a list.
Guys who say they love to try new things but WON’T try new things….I’m going to slap you silly.
Men who think they are better than you just because they have a nicer car, yet live with their parents…oh you bet I want to slap you silly.
The guys who think that they still look like they did 10 years ago. Are you kidding? Really? I look at the picture, washboard abs, I look at you, beer belly. Really? Slapping you silly is a must. Or maybe someone already did if you think you still look like that!
The guys who think they are ready to date when they are only separated from their wives(if at all) for two weeks. Not only am I going to slap you silly, so is YOUR wife! Because that’s what you just called her on our first date. WTF!?!
The guys who call me a bitch for telling them I WON’T have sex with them after them sending me ONE message telling me they like my legs. Yeah, every woman should slap you silly….. in the junk….with a hammer. Just sayin’.
The guys who send messages out to so many women they don’t Remember who they have messaged before….and been rejected. Not only am I going to slap you silly but your keyboard should too…and your mother who lives upstairs.
Just when I think I’m about done, I can’t forget the guys who send messages just after the bars close and are trolling the dating sites for sex. If you’re that fucking ugly that you can’t pick up a leftover at the bar….you need to slap YOURSELF! When I say Ugly I’m not talking about looks. It means your personality and attitude is so horrible that even the drunkest chick wouldn’t come home with you. It’s not like she could see anyway!
So..in conclusion, there are lots of reasons why men need to have hand prints on their faces. Any men out there have reasons why women should be slapped silly? What do we do that makes us slap/spank worthy? Ha…see what I did there? I said SPANK..which most men associate with sex….they have forgotten what they were mad about. 😛
There may be a time when I will add to this list, any suggestions?
Seriously? I don’t even have to make this shit up!
This morning I got finished a 12hr night shift (7pm-7am) and realized that I had next to nothing for my kids school lunches. I headed over to Wal-Mart, picked up some things and went to the cash register. As I’m finished paying I just happened to look behind me. I recognized a man who has messaged me on Plenty of Fish (POF) a few times. I also know I have blocked him more than once because he kept asking to have sex with me. Needless to say I walked a little faster to my car than I normally would.
All of this he confirms in the above message. I was baffled to say the least. He sure seems to have lots of balls online but can’t bring himself to say anything to me in person….which I’m absolutely GLAD that he did not.
As much as this person sucks, I know not all men behave like him. Staying positive seems to be getting harder and harder though. That being said, right now this screenshot (the unedited one) is currently my profile picture on Plenty of Fish.
I think it’s one of the last steps of my giving up on meeting someone from online. It has worked for me in the past…but with the mainstreaming of it all brings all the idiots trying out a new fad. A new fad isn’t for everyone.
In conclusion, just because you have the App on your phone doesn’t mean you have to be a fucking dickhead. 😛