Tag Archives: men

OKCupid: What do I like best about my body? What?

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I received this message Saturday. As you can see the screenshot was taken at 7:36pm and 29 minutes earlier this man tells me he “has a glow on”. Already? Wow, that’s a bit early…even for a Saturday.

What do I like best about my body? How about the fact that my body is 3 hours away from this idiot. I promptly blocked him after my response.  I don’t have time to entertain boys.

As I stated in my response, it’s not acceptable to start a conversation like this just because it’s online and I can’t see the person. The only way I can see this being OK is if I’m hammered at the bar with puke in my hair and one boob hanging out my top.

Otherwise, no. Get some Internet Etiquette (netiquette)  skills people if you intend to use it!

I may have brought myself down to his level a bit by telling him to get a life and calling him an idiot…perhaps this working 6 nights a week thing is taking it’s toll. Or maybe I’m just a bitch. 😛 Take your pick. 🙂

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I made the list!

Somehow I made the list of 10 Best Dating Blogs for 30 Somethings. The link is here. It was definitely a nice surprise to wake up to this today.

Yes, I know I’ve been lacking in my writing. I’m going to be quick to blame being promoted to a new job which also requires a whole new routine and sleeping schedule. It’s been a month in my new position and I’m just now getting used to it….and the working 6 nights a week thing.

I’ve still been having dates when I can but many men don’t understand why I have to work so much now. It’s looking like dating from work may be my only option now as I’m always there. Do I really want to take that route? I tried it once 2 years ago and it was a disaster. Although the guy was a self-proclaimed asshole…I should have gotten a clue there. 😛 Sounds like a future blog post to me…

More blogs to come soon, I promise. 🙂

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I was also nominated in the Only Dates Blog Awards for 2014. I write for the fun of it but if they want to give me an award for doing something I love…go for it! 🙂

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Review: Oshawa POF Event – Whiskey John’s

Last night I found myself with nothing much to do. I had spent roughly 6 hours working on my lawn in the hot sun and treated myself to a New York steak at the Lonestar. A male friend was texting me while I ate and an idea formed in my head. I clicked the Join button on the  POF app the make it show that I would be attending the event.

I had seen the Plenty of Fish event for Oshawa posted many times and always thought it would be fun to check it out and write a review. (As I did HERE for the Ottawa POF Event.)  In the back of my mind I had it as a back up plan if I didn’t find something to do. My idea was to take my friend with me and enter the event separately so I could get a perspective from both sexes. I figured that if the event was anything like the one in Ottawa that my friend would be attacked by all the single cougars.

Sadly, I arrived at my friends place to pick him up and he chickened out! I tried to convince him to come be my bodyguard instead but to no avail. Within 10 minutes of arriving I was off to Oshawa. An hour or so later I was in Oshawa following my GPS to where the event was being held. I made sure to check-in on Facebook as the only person who knew where I was at that point was the friend I tried to get to come along. At least if I disappeared the authorities had a starting point. 😛

I arrived at Whisky John’s at midnight. I think this was a good time as this meant people would have a few drinks in them and hopefully would be more social. I was wrong. It seemed like there were a lot of wall flowers there. Quite literally there was a line of older “bigger” men along the wall shrouded in darkness watching the door. I walked in, saw this then saw at least 3 of them check their phone revealing a blue glow. I could only guess they were checking their POF App because they all looked up at me and nodded their heads in recognition. That’s what I get for making it known I would be there. A little creepy but I guess I did it to myself…

I took a seat at the bar where there was light and ordered a drink. The bartender makes yummy Caesars I might add. I nursed that drink for almost an hour as I took in the rest of the event.

I was quite surprised to see that despite the wall of creepy men I first saw there was a younger crowd as well. There seemed to be something or someone for everyone there. The music was great for dancing and had a good range of styles. Even a TV with football for those who just wanted to sit and drink. It wasn’t as crowded as I thought it would be. I remember the Ottawa event was absolutely packed and you could barely move. It wasn’t the case here. The music was loud enough to dance but not too loud to talk. They had lots of pool tables too which is great for people who feel like doing something else while they chat.

It wasn’t long before my eye caught a couple that looked about mid-forties. They were seated across the bar from me in my direct line in sight. The woman was talking and the man was watching and hopefully listening intently….as that’s what it looked like he was doing. Every time I scanned the room I came back to them for a few seconds. I guessed I looked too long once because the man caught me. Ahh crap.. After that almost every time I looked at him after my scan he would glance up at me. The woman got up hugged the man, kissed him on the cheek and presumably went to the bathroom. The man got up too then looked over at me with a look and head raise that made me think he wanted to come over to me. Double crap! I looked down at my drink, sucked the rest of it back and got up to leave.

Just as I pushed my glass to the end of the bar one the wall flowers appeared out of no where beside me. He asked if he could buy me another drink. I politely declined and said I was leaving. I quickly left and went to my car. As I said, I nursed that drink for an hour. Does that mean this guy was watching and waiting for me to finish for that long? He couldn’t come talk to me first as it was clear I was there alone? Hmm… Kind of strange, nice, but strange.

I think if I were to go again I would have to bring friends. I could have easily had a great time there if I had people to talk to.

Not quite as screwed up of a night as when I was at the Ottawa POF Event where I was dealing with Mr. Multiple Underlying Issues.

😛

 

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Slap You Silly

I’m sitting here and I’m thinking about some of the things guys do when dating that makes me want to slap them silly. So, here is a list.

Guys who say they love to try new things but WON’T try new things….I’m going to slap you silly.

Men who think they are better than you just because they have a nicer car, yet live with their parents…oh you bet I want to slap you silly.

The guys who think that they still look like they did 10 years ago. Are you kidding? Really? I look at the picture, washboard abs, I look at you, beer belly. Really? Slapping you silly is a must. Or maybe someone already did if you think you still look like that!

The guys who think they are ready to date when they are only separated from their wives(if at all) for two weeks. Not only am I going to slap you silly, so is YOUR wife! Because that’s what you just called her on our first date. WTF!?!

The guys who call me a bitch for telling them I WON’T have sex with them after them sending me ONE message telling me they like my legs. Yeah, every woman should slap you silly….. in the junk….with a hammer. Just sayin’.

The guys who send messages out to so many women they don’t Remember who they have messaged before….and been rejected. Not only am I going to slap you silly but your keyboard should too…and your mother who lives upstairs.

Just when I think I’m about done, I can’t forget the guys who send messages just after the bars close and are trolling the dating sites for sex. If you’re that fucking ugly that you can’t pick up a leftover at the bar….you need to slap YOURSELF! When I say Ugly I’m not talking about looks. It means your personality and attitude is so horrible that even the drunkest chick wouldn’t come home with you. It’s not like she could see anyway!

So..in conclusion, there are lots of reasons why men need to have hand prints on their faces. Any men out there have reasons why women should be slapped silly? What do we do that makes us slap/spank worthy? Ha…see what I did there? I said SPANK..which most men associate with sex….they have forgotten what they were mad about. 😛

There may be a time when I will add to this list, any suggestions?

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My Day from Hell and a Date

To say the least the month of April can go back from whence it came. It has cost me a LOT of money. I’m going to give you a little bit of a run down of what has been going on.

It started with my car. At the start of April I got a tune up done on my car. A week later the transmission on my car decided it didn’t like going in reverse. As most car owners know, transmissions are super expensive to have fixed. I’ve constantly been fixing my car (like something new every month) so I drove my car while “strategically” parking for a week. I was able to get my hands on a new “New To Me” car….where I now have payments. Ugh. But, it runs and all major parts (that I’ve fixed in my old car) are now under warranty.

A couple Fridays ago the weather in Ontario was Very un-Spring-like. So much so that we had an ice storm. We are talking, school buses cancelled, accidents every where, downed tree branches from the weight of the ice and extensive power outages. Thankfully I was still able to take my kids to school because I am in town and they don’t require to be bused there. It was my day off and I had plans to get my stereo installed in my “new” car…got to have my tunes!

As I’m waiting on the install I’m texting and reading stuff on my phone when it jumps out SmashedHTCOneXof my hand. I’ve dropped it countless times before, even on the concrete floors at work, and it’s been fine. Not this time, not on This day. Smashed. Like little bits of glass coming out and potentially into my fingers or onto my face when I went to use it type Smashed. Perfect. 

Needless to say, after the install I had to get see about a new phone. $400 and an additional year to my contract later, I have my new phone…which is the same model as my old phone sans the smashed screen. It’s the HTC One X, it’s awesome and does everything, no need to go to something else!

One to the date planned for that same night. I had been talking to a guy for a little over a week. He asked to meet me on Friday so I planned to put my son to bed at my mother’s where I would pick him up in the morning. The man was newly single and I was wary of that. Mainly because a lot of newly single men (and sometimes women)  happen to only want to do One thing, as I’ve called it before the “fuck everything that moves” stage.

NachosetcWe met up at my favorite sports bar because I figured if it didn’t go well that at least I knew I would like the food and the drinks. We were there an hour and a half before we decided to leave. I know I wasn’t feeling it and guessing he didn’t either. Oh well.

We get outside and I noticed that I had left my headlights on. Yeah, you guessed it. My battery was dead. In my “new” car. The guy didn’t have booster cables. Now what freakin’ guy doesn’t have booster cables? WTF? The guy offers to drive me home. I accepted despite not really wanting him to know where I live.

At this point I’m shaking my head wondering what kind of unlucky dark cloud is following me that day. Really? REALLY?

I was able to get a hold of one of my Best guy friends who also has booster cables. He picked me up, boosted me and made sure I was able to get my car going and home. I’m very thankful for good friends! I was very happy when midnight came in hopes that my day from Hell was over!

To conclude about my date, he messaged me the next day and said he didn’t think he was ready for what I’m looking for. Well duh. That being said he added that he would “love to see me naked” and that we should “get a little too drunk one night.”

Umm, no. I’m good.

I haven’t spoken/texted him since and do not plan on it.

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Eww, Creepy Old Men

Age is just a number right? Well…sometimes.

When it comes to dating you can’t really help who you are attracted to but when it comes to online dating you can definitely narrow your search. I’m talking about age restrictions here. That being said, I try not to narrow mine too much because what if the person for me just had a birthday which puts him just over my age restrictions.

I’ll put it out there, I’m 33. I have my age restrictions set usually between 27 and 43. Usually by age 27 some men start to mature and may have a child or two. This would give him a greater understanding as to what my world is like.

As for 43, I’m starting to think I should lower it. My original reason for going that high was seeing some male profiles where the men look really good for their age, as well we had a few things in common that didn’t consist of sitting in front of some kind of screen. I made it so that if these men wanted to contact me, they could. To my surprise (and later dismay) some of them actually did.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to properly describe how I feel about these men after short conversations. First, I get bored fast because they tend not do much other than work, watch TV and go to bed early. It’s like their list of interests are just that, interests. Not things that they actually do. Hmm… Then, the conversation quickly changes to have heavy sexual undertones. Nothing “bad” actually said but mentioning that having a partner to help keep me up at night would be a good idea was kind of creepy. (Associated with the part of a conversation about my staying awake that night so I could sleep during the day for my midnight shift the next night.)

After a few of these undertones I stop responding as it clearly wasn’t a mistake.

I wasn’t in a good mood when one of these men sent one of those messages so I responded with:

“I can read between the lines and I clearly see what you’re really looking for.”

His response, “I can clearly see you’re a bitch.”

Really….maybe I am a bitch, or maybe he didn’t like that I wasn’t going to play his game. There are women out there that will be his toy and  it sure as hell wasn’t going to be me. Oh…and we can’t forget how mature his response actually was/wasn’t being 10 YEARS older than me.

I’m starting to think I should get more cats and invest in Duracell.

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Upon reflecting while writing this post I have changed my highest age restriction to 40. I’ve now weeded out the creepy “old” men, now if only the Just Creepy ones had it tattooed on their forehead.

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Not Nice Feeling Like a Whore

It’s nice to feel wanted but it’s not nice to feel like a whore.

Those of us women (and even men) who have been bombarded with sex requests know what it’s like to open a message on a dating site only to be disappointed. We read that the person has only one thing in mind and it’s not to chat.

Depending on my mood I will respond in 1 of 2 ways:

Good Mood – “Where in my profile does it say I’m looking for sex so that I can change it?”

Bad Mood – “Fuck yourself because no one else will.” Then proceed with my signature Block/Delete.

An issue I’ve been having lately is that some very decent looking men have been asking me to meet them alluding to the sole reason of having sex. They are always respectful in their requests, always complimenting me, etc. I’ve had two specific ones ask multiples times. One is built like a brick shithouse. He doesn’t know it but I’ve seen him in person at the mall and Wow…gorgeous. The other, I used to work with about 8 years ago so I know he’s decent too.

I realize they ask because they don’t want a relationship/commitment, but why keep asking a woman who has already said no? Is it a male ego thing?

Any comments or suggestions welcome. 🙂

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Drama – Why Men Secretly Love It

Who likes drama? I mean really, who?

Urban Dictionary Definition – Drama:

“A way of relating to the world in which a person consistently overreacts to or greatly exaggerates the importance of benign events.”

The person who creates the drama is not only stirring the proverbial pot but also they are triggering emotions in other people. For the most part those emotions tend to be negative.

When you first meet someone what do you want to see? A happy person or sad person with intense emotions that change every 5 minutes? You would think this is self-explained but is it?

A normal person is usually guarded when they meet someone new. They try to portray themselves as happy and positive. If anything negative comes about it might be anger but usually about something small like work or the car breaking down. Anger in small doses seems to be acceptable. That being said, if you only see someone being happy and “pissed off”, what would you think of that person?

I’m going to use myself for this. Duh. Since I’m the one I know best. I recently wrote about a man coming back into my life and then finding out that I was yet again, a rebound. I was so happy to hear from again then really pissed off when I realized what was up. Then, other emotions reared it’s head. I felt hurt and sadness. I didn’t let that man know I felt the last ones. I didn’t want him to think I was all “drama” for feeling that way.

Why not? They were legitimate feelings. Why shouldn’t I share them? And why do I keep having men come back to me as a rebound?

While having a conversation with my guy friend of mine and he said, “Why wouldn’t they want to hang out with you, you’re fun!” My friend had a point there. They want to forget the negative they just left and have some fun. I’m not speaking sexually since most of these men I was never physical with.

While thinking about all of this and letting it circle repeatedly. The thought occurred to me, yes, I may be fun but perhaps I am emotionally boring to them.

Here is something interesting:

Urban Dictionary Definition – Passion:

“Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind body and soul into something as is possible.”

…………does that description not sound a lot like Drama? Emphasis on the fact that more energy is being exerted in the creation process.

Lack of passion = lack of drama….but we like passion don’t we? I’m pretty sure men do to.

Think about it and tell me your thoughts in the comments. Am I totally off here or may I be on to something?

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Part 2 – The One Who Got Away

Now my head is messed up. This entry is an update to the post I made yesterday entitled The One Who Got Away Just Contacted Me. I was super excited and totally freaking out about see him again.

Here goes…

I met him at that park where we went for a walk the first day we met. It’s also the same place where I do all of my rollerblading. He’s early…I had planned on getting there before him so I could try and relax while drinking my coffee. Considering he lives about 45 minutes away from me, the fact that he was early made me think he really must have wanted to see me.

He rode his sport bike and of course looked as handsome and sexy as ever. He hadn’t changed a bit. He asked for a hug first thing. His hug is strong and soft at the same time. The kind of hug where you feel safe. I could have melted. Damn, how does he have that effect on me?!?

We talked, laughed and caught up. We did go rollerblading for a short time. About 2kms or so. I say short since when I go on my own its usually at least 10kms. All the while I’m checking him out and wondering why is he here?

Afterwards we stop at my place to drop off his motorcycle and go out for lunch. He constantly complimented me about how great I look and how smart I am. He even mentioned that he doesn’t understand why or how I’m still single. This is where I mentioned that I now write this blog about my dating misadventures, even about the epiphany I had the other day. We even talked about why things didn’t work between us. Mainly the distance between us.

He instantly asked if I had written about him. I told him I did just that morning and he wanted to read it. Ah crap.. After a few minutes I get out my phone and let him read the post. He commented that he thought it was sweet and again how intelligent I am. I was slightly embarrassed that he got to have a glimpse into my head.

All the while we are talking and hanging out he looks at me right in the eyes. I swear this man has the most intense eyes. He looks Right at me and when he does I know, or at least think, he’s with me and his head isn’t anywhere else. I don’t know how he does it.

After lunch we somehow fit in some snuggle time on my couch. It felt like how we were before…although in my head I’m thinking it’s been over a year since I’ve physical seen this man and almost 5 months since we had any contact with each other (the June birthday text I sent). The connection and attraction was definitely still there.

Finally, he had to leave so that he could pick his daughter up from school. I ended up taking a short nap since my head was swimming (and still is). I needed a break.

I. Will. Not. Chase.

I swore I wasn’t going to text him first. Swore it. Even swore to my friend who agreed that when I talked about him, I did indeed call him the one who got away.

A couple hours later he texts me to tell me he had a great time. Holy shit.. It’s not like we had a bad time, but I sincerely have no idea where this is going.

Later that night, after our kids were in bed, my phone is blown up by him..and his blown up by mine. It was like old times. Although I’m truly trying to hold back. Why should I let him just waltz back into my life when I don’t really know what his intentions are. I wouldn’t say I was hurt the last time around but I was definitely disappointed. The reality of the distance was there from the get-go.

I’m dumbfounded. My mind is boggled. A big huge WTF and where did this come from?

I’m definitely over analyzing every minute and every text. Sadly I’m being a typical woman right now and I hate it.

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Ripping Him a New One

I don’t usually do the whole copying and pasting of messages I get from men online but this one kind of pissed me off.

“Hi, Are you going out tomorrow night at all?? if not, do you know where I should go to get out of my hotel??”

Upon clicking his profile he states very clearly that he’s only in town for the weekend and that he’s only looking for something casual.

Are you kidding me?

Needless to say my response started with something like, “Where the fuck in my profile does it say….” I’m sure all  you smart ladies, and perhaps maybe gentleman, can fill in the rest. I can tell you it ended with calling him an asshole after ripping him a new one.

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