Tag Archives: okc

OKCupid: What do I like best about my body? What?

okcupidass2

I received this message Saturday. As you can see the screenshot was taken at 7:36pm and 29 minutes earlier this man tells me he “has a glow on”. Already? Wow, that’s a bit early…even for a Saturday.

What do I like best about my body? How about the fact that my body is 3 hours away from this idiot. I promptly blocked him after my response.  I don’t have time to entertain boys.

As I stated in my response, it’s not acceptable to start a conversation like this just because it’s online and I can’t see the person. The only way I can see this being OK is if I’m hammered at the bar with puke in my hair and one boob hanging out my top.

Otherwise, no. Get some Internet Etiquette (netiquette)  skills people if you intend to use it!

I may have brought myself down to his level a bit by telling him to get a life and calling him an idiot…perhaps this working 6 nights a week thing is taking it’s toll. Or maybe I’m just a bitch. 😛 Take your pick. 🙂

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Embracing Single Life – Drunk on Wednesday

One thing I’ve learned about being single for over two years is that the best way to live it is to embrace it. Some view being single as just horrible and that’s not socially acceptable. To be “normal” is to be with someone, perhaps married, and to have kids, etc.

You know what? Those people can blow it out their ass. Figuratively or literally if they so choose.

I’ve done the whole married and common-law thing. Twice. I’ve done the whole have a kid thing. Twice. You know what it got me in the end? Messed up issues when it comes to men, a whole crap load of debt, and the label of being a “single mom”. This label is scary in the it scares men away but also has potential to lure the wrong kind of men. Some men think that if the woman is a mom that she’s “easier” because she’s obviously had sex and desperate because no one wants a single mom.  Uhh…pardon me?

I digress.

I work full-time, own a house and I do have two kids. But I also have custody 50% of the time. This means that there are days when I have the day/night off and I can do whatever the hell I want. An example of this is that it’s Wednesday. I slept all day because I worked 12hrs last night. I’ve just finished washing my hair and about to straighten it. I’m going out tonight with a couple of co-workers and the plan is to have a few (a lot) drinks and perhaps visit the strip club across the street. (I work with all guys btw.) I done this many a time and we always have a Great time.

Now, I could sit at home tonight and surf Plenty of Fish or OkCupid. I could change up my profiles and hope a cute guy who lives close, isn’t drug addicted and has a job sends me a message….or….yeah, I think you get the picture here.

So, for those of you who want to wallow in your singleton status at home….I’ll be having a drink for you….and probably be “drunk as fuck” by 11pm.

Cheers!

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Filed under Dating, Divorce, Love, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single

Mr. Cling-on

A week or so ago I started talking to a man who sounded great on paper. He is super nice, cute, has a great job, his own house, his own vehicle(s)….except that he’s recently separated/single. So recent that upon creeping his Facebook I saw that his relationship status had only changed from Married to Single on the 3rd of September. Damn. I also was able to read some of his wall posts about the break up and his comments about how he still wished he could make it work with his now ex. Double Damn.

I don’t know which part of me raised her voice that day (the bitch or the helper) but I decided I was going to call him out on it. By this time we were communicating via text message. I told him I had just finished reading all the recent posts on his Facebook and asked him how I was to interpret it all. I didn’t hear anything back…leaving me to think I creeped him out. Not the case. He texts back after a half an hour to tell me he’s deleted all those posts and comments as well as his wedding pictures (yeah, I noticed those too…) and that he definitely is single and moving on.

I told him straight up that he hasn’t been single long enough and that I can’t date him because of it. I truly believe there are stages a person has to go though after a long term relationship before they can move on to someone new. I will write about that in another post.

A few days go by and I find myself with a Saturday night to myself, no kids and plans that had fallen through. I told him this and we agreed to meet for coffee. He buys my coffee (despite my having my money in hand) and we settle into his truck to talk. (I’m not a fan of sitting in the coffee shop since other people tend to listen.)

Now I almost never about exes but since his separation is so new I know it’s the only thing on his mind. We talk about various subjects but as suspected, the exes, his and mine, keep coming up. I mentioned mine since I’ve been single longer and I was trying to tell/show him how the progression from animosity to civil can and will happen (unless the person is a psycho). All in all a good conversation that lasted a few hours.

I made a mistake here though. I became bored with the setting and decided to change it. We took a drive in my car and I specifically called it an adventure. There are many beaches close to the area where we both live but you have to pay to get in and always closed after dark. By this time I have a good sense that this guy won’t try to kill me. So…I decide the adventure is going to take us to a private beach that I know. We walked along the beach and a couple of times I think he tried to initiate physical contact. I ignored it and wrote it off as him bumping into me. Looking back on it now, the beach could have been deemed as romantic since the stars looked absolutely Amazing that night.

It was late when I dropped him back off at his car. I purposely didn’t get out so that he didn’t try to hug me. If you haven’t guessed by now, no spark…doused by his length of time being single.

I get home at 2am and at 2:15am he texts me to tell me he had a good time….and that he’s on the phone with his Mother telling her ALL about me. Umm…what? He then goes on to tell me how beautiful, awesome, mature, and smart I am. Of which I reply with, “Thanks.” Kind of felt like the exchange when someone says “I love you” way too soon. Now I’m freaked out! What 32-year-old man calls his mother at 2 something in the morning to tell her about someone he just met that night. Mama’s boy? Oh no..

From then on and throughout the week I half ignore his texts. I remind him again that I can’t  date him because he is too newly single. He constantly asks how I am and sends texts at inappropriate times. (Like when I’m sleeping during the day and he Knows I’m working night shift.) Friday comes and he asks how I am, again…and I reply that I’m miserable. I explain how my car is in the shop and he offers to let me drive his truck until it’s fixed. Umm…what? Really? I politely decline even though it’s a nice truck, but no, I haven’t known him long enough to accept offers like that. Plus, who offers something like that to someone they have met only once?

I haven’t closed the book on this one yet since he does have potential to become a friend. Someone who tells him like it is seems to be what this man needs…and maybe someone to show him the ropes of being single since his Facebook has been overly dramatic with the “lonely” posts. Believe me, I called him out on that too.

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I’ll screw you if you can spell…

grammar-spelling-benefit-cosmetics-ecards-someecardsI saw this ecard and I just about spit out my coffee. Not because it’s true but I it raises some issues that come up when it comes to meeting people online.

I’m sure we’ve all had the messages where the person can’t spell even the most simple words right or they appear drunk. Although messages after 1AM might very well be alcohol induced.

I have found I absolutely pay more attention to someone who can send a nice message without my having to decipher what has been typed. Even if I’m not interested I will reply back thanking them for the nice message.

The sad part about this detail is that the person who sends this message might in person actually be articulate. In a real conversation you can’t see how someone spells what they are saying. For this reason I have taken to looking at certain aspects of a person before trying to judge their text too much, namely their location, if they have a job and if they are hot enough. Since if they are hot we all tend to forgive some faults. Yes, I said it.

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You’ve Met Someone Decent, Now What?

To Unplug the Dating Profile or not?You’ve talked to someone and finally had your first meeting. Everything seems to have gone smoothly and you both express that you want to see each other again. What do you do now?

I ask this question because you still have the account on the dating site. Most likely when you log in you will be able to see if the other person has logged in and vice versa. You may have logged in to hide your profile because you’re happy about meeting that person. Why has the other person logged in? To do the same? To talk to other people they might be interested in? Would it seem like one is moving too fast if they instantly delete their profile after a first meeting?

This is something that is hard to determine since you know you have just met and there is no commitment. You hope that the person liked you as much as you liked them. This is where you feel like a kid again by the way. Despite being an adult, the same things we wondered about our crushes when we were young, still happens when we grow older.

In this age of technology, we hear of people cheating on spouses with people they have met online or meeting lots of people for sexual purposes. That being said, even the most secure person will wonder about this new person they have met. Are they telling the truth or are they lying? How do we know?

If we know enough about the person then we could use some sleuthing techniques like creeping their Facebook(assuming their privacy settings aren’t set too high) or Googling their name. This appears slightly like stalker behaviour but what you’re really doing is reading information that this person has already published about themselves. The only reason why you after specifically looking for this information is to find any red flags that would result in you not wanting to pursue anything further.

An example of this would be a man that told me that he did not have a criminal record. Yet, upon creeping his Facebook Wall I found that he had recently been released from a provincial jail and was still being remanded into custody on weekends…. Umm, no thanks.

I digress….

I pose the question to whoever reads this:

What do you think the proper way of handling this situation where you have met someone you like that you have met online?

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Filed under Dating, Divorce, Love, OKCupid, Online Dating, POF, Single, Trust

‘Busy’ is another word for ‘asshole’

“Busy’ is another word for ‘asshole’. ‘Asshole’ is another word for the guy you’re dating.”
― Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

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September 10, 2012 · 7:50 AM

Who’s The Other Girl?

Him: “hey how’s it going whos the girl with the black mask?” (copied and pasted from original message)

Me: “…so you messaged me to ask me who I blocked out in my photo?” (no response)

————————————————

In one of my photos on my dating profile I’m with a friend. To protect her privacy I blocked out her face with PhotoShop. She is also on the same dating site so I didn’t want people to think that I was into the same things she is into.

I think this guy was able to establish in one brief message that not only is he an idiot for asking who she is, but also that he’s blind. Black mask?

Wow, it’s only Thursday…

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Online Dating Profile – Top 7 Assumptions about You

  1.  No Picture – Either you’re hiding something (married or whatever) or you’re the fat guy who selected the “Athletic” option to see what he could catch.
  2. One Line Messages – You just looked at the pictures and that’s all. Also you really don’t have much to say because you didn’t read or want to read the profile.
  3. Pictures vs. Profile – You say you don’t party anymore, yet your pictures are all party pictures? Really?
  4. Old Pictures – If it’s 2012 and your picture has a date stamp of 2009 and before… it’s old. There’s a good chance you don’t look like that anymore. (Gained or lost weight, haircut, etc)
  5. Activity – You say you like to be active but you list all the shows you like to watch on a weekly basis. Really, who are you kidding..?
  6. Type/Talk to Text – Do you talk like you text? If you have a keyboard with all the letters…wouldn’t it make sense to use them? (side note: Do you purposely leave the “h” off of “with”? Misspelling a word to make it look how you say it does not make you seem intelligent..sorry..
  7. You live Where? – People who message people hours away to meet but have no means of transportation. Have you seen the price of gas lately? Let’s be realistic.

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Can’t Buy Me…

In about May of this year I met a man who seemed like he had his ducks all in a row. He told me he operated 3 medical clinics, 2 in my town and 1 Toronto. I misunderstood “operated” for “managed”. I learned after the fact that he owns them. He was also in the process of moving here from Toronto and only been separated for 6 months. In the split he said he was awarded the family cottage to live until he bought a house here. Right…

After a few chats back and forth I accepted his invitation for a coffee. I went against my own judgement and met him a local play park since he had his youngest son with him. We were able to talk a bit while he played with his son but not enough that I could get any definite good or bad vibe from him. He seemed normal enough. I left after an hour and only because I felt bad that I was taking time away from his son.

He texted me later that day and asked if I could come to his house for coffee once his son was in bed. After some deliberation I agreed to make my arrival for 9:30PM.

I will set the stage a bit here. The area that he lives is known as cottage country. I’m following my GPS, driving slowly as there aren’t street lights out there and a possibility of wildlife on the country roads. I’m checking out all the quaint little cottages and thinking I’m probably in for coffee in front of warm wood stove.

That was not the case. I turned town a road where I immediately noticed that the standard of living was MUCH higher and the “cottages” were MUCH bigger. Within minutes my GPS tells me I’m at my destination. I looked up to what I could only describe as a “mansion-type” house. OH MY GOD…No way, I had to be at the wrong place. Then I saw him waving from the window. Yep, I’m there.

I parked beside a shiny black Escalade….which he certainly wasn’t driving when I met him. I entered the “cottage” to notice all hardwood floors, granite counter tops in the kitchen…and oh look, an enormous boat in the back yard. He then offered to make me espresso from the machine that is stationed on the counter…since that’s a regular thing in a swanky cottage. I opted for hot chocolate…which for the record was Organic….who buys Organic hot chocolate? Really?

I think what I’m getting at is that despite being a nice man…this kind of life style isn’t for me. I’m not the type of woman who can easily be wined and dined. After an hour or so I left and did some contemplating. He told me he wanted to see me again the next weekend. The kicker was when he said he couldn’t find someone to watch his son so his ex was going to come down that weekend. He wanted to confirm plans with me so he could “book” some time away. Pardon me? Book? I declared my suspicions at this time that he’s not really separated. He insisted that he was and that I could meet his “wife” if I wished.

Hell No. What?

I’m a working woman. I own my house and as such my kids and I live pretty well. Not mansion and Escalade well…but well enough. I’m sorry, but I can’t be proud to be the rebound after this man’s marriage fell apart. I ended up writing him a Dear John type of e-mail than told him he needs to be single for a lot longer but that if he so wishes I’m sure he can find someone who will enjoy all he wants to spend on them. I also mentioned that I didn’t feel like we were in the same social class because he was worried about making time for dance lessons and way his huge bay window was installed….where I worry about a balloon payment on my house and living paycheque to paycheque.

On to the next….as much as my mother and friends are telling me not to….damn morals!

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