Tag Archives: text

OKCupid: What do I like best about my body? What?

okcupidass2

I received this message Saturday. As you can see the screenshot was taken at 7:36pm and 29 minutes earlier this man tells me he “has a glow on”. Already? Wow, that’s a bit early…even for a Saturday.

What do I like best about my body? How about the fact that my body is 3 hours away from this idiot. I promptly blocked him after my response.  I don’t have time to entertain boys.

As I stated in my response, it’s not acceptable to start a conversation like this just because it’s online and I can’t see the person. The only way I can see this being OK is if I’m hammered at the bar with puke in my hair and one boob hanging out my top.

Otherwise, no. Get some Internet Etiquette (netiquette)  skills people if you intend to use it!

I may have brought myself down to his level a bit by telling him to get a life and calling him an idiot…perhaps this working 6 nights a week thing is taking it’s toll. Or maybe I’m just a bitch. 😛 Take your pick. 🙂

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Crazy Revisited

crazy

Last night I tried something new in the way of meeting people. I had spent the day recovering from a night out (something I hadn’t done since New Years Eve) as well texting some friends while in and out of consciousness from the severe hangover. I want to add that I remember why I don’t do this. I wasted a perfectly good Sunday in bed…by myself! To make a longer story short, once I was mobile, I was bored.

Before long I was bathed and on my way to a small town not far from where I live. I was invited to hang out with a friend of mine and his friend. My friend made it sound like he was trying to set me up with his friend…and I thought, what the hell? Let’s give it a shot!

I get to the place where they were at, have a seat and greet them. The fucked up part is that I know BOTH of them…my friend…and his friend, which is a CRAZY I met about a year ago.

Just freakin’ Perfect.

All I got from my friend(who is military) was that his friend was ex-military, his first name and that he was single. I should have asked more….but due to trusting my friend I didn’t feel like I needed to.

Sigh.

So here’s the story about Mr. Crazy.

We met on one of the dating sites and eventually met for coffee that led to lunch that same day. As it was a week day and kids were in school I even ended up taking him out to the private beach I know of. The conversation was good and normal…except for the fact that he was on a short medical leave from the military due to a severe concussion. Hmm… after meeting Mr. Head Injury this information should have given me a clue. We parted ways with a hug and a promise to contact.

I got contacted alright. I didn’t hear anything for a few days and all of a sudden I started getting unsolicited dirty sexually explicit text messages from this man. As well he begged for naked pictures and promised to send me some in return. You know, this is something you might do with someone you are actually dating(depending on your comfort level)….not something you do with someone you have only met once.

Needless to say I gave him ROYAL SHIT and told him Never to contact me again. Two days later I get a message from him in which we have this conversation:

“Hey, how are you today, would you like to go for lunch?”

“Pardon me?”

“I think you’re awesome and thought we got along great. Don’t you think?”

“Do you not remember me telling you NOT to contact me after that bullshit two days ago?”

“What bullshit?”

“Really?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You asked for naked pictures of me and sent me explicit messages that I didn’t ask for?”

……..about 20 minutes go by before he answers finally.

“It must have been someone else, so how about that lunch?”

WTF?

No, I did not meet him for lunch…nor did I ever meet him again. This happened a couple more times where he seemed to have two different personalities…that doesn’t remember what the other did. One day I was at work and he “booty called” me while including a picture of his penis. WTF!?!  I believe I called him a disgusting pig and told him I was blocking his number. In which I promptly did.

So….there I was sitting beside my friend and across from Mr. Crazy. What the hell was I to do??

Apparently in the time it took for me to drive there,  Mr. Crazy had gleaned enough information from my friend to realize that he knew me. I’ll admit I was a little rude at first since the memories of his rudeness had come back to me.

“Hello….long time no see…”

“Ahh…you’re the crazy one…”  (and yes, I totally said that.)

He laughed it off and then came the awkward silence.

I decided it would be best to put out my hand say, “Let’s start again.” We shook hands and we all had some drinks. I ended up having to take my friend home because he had waaaay too much to drink. I was kind of glad for that as the conversation didn’t flow very well. I had asked about Mr. Crazy’s concussion and if that was why he left the military. He replied, “Oh…that was a bad time for me” then got really quiet. Hmm…yep, still crazy!

Looking back, this situation could have been worse. I was a little freaked out but I was there to have fun. I took the high/mature road and put the past behind me…well, long enough to write this blog the next day about it. 🙂

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7 Bad Date Exit Strategies

We’ve ALL been there. The Bad Date.

Sitting at a table across from your date and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of the situation. I’ve compiled a short list of ways to do this. Some require minimal pre-planning and some can be done on the fly. These are options that can be used when you don’t feel like saying to the person’s face:

” You’re a creepy bastard and you look NOTHING like your pictures. There’s no fucking way I want to stay another minute let alone EVER want to have sex with you.”

Most of us wouldn’t have the guts to say that in person so here’s what else you can do:

  1.  Go to the bathroom but don’t come back. This only works if you are seated where your date can’t see the bathroom AND the exit.
  2.  Tell your date you’re going to the bathroom. Do so but call/text a friend and ask them to call you in 10 minutes. Fake an emergency with your kids, parent or even your cat…despite if you even have kids or a cat.
  3. Download a free APP to your phone that will go off after a certain amount of time making it look you’re getting an emergency call or text. (Just in case you don’t have any friends…)
  4. Tell your date you didn’t get much sleep the night before and you have to work early in the morning.
  5. If you’re not in a coffee shop or restaurant where you can hide out in the bathroom, there is always the option to fake sick. You can say you weren’t feeling well before you arrived but didn’t want to stand the person up.
  6. Act like a total bitch/asshole, create a nervous twitch, pretend you have Tourette’s, or make up a strange OCD habit (count your steps and on every 5th step you clap 3 times)….all in an effort to make them think you’re screwed up and make THEM want to leave.
  7. Last but not least, if you’re really not sure about the date you can show up early and wait for the person to show up. Once you see them and it’s already clear you don’t want to be there, leave.

When it’s all said and done it’s best not to leave the person hanging. Dishonesty sucks and sadly these exit strategies use it. If the person seemed ok but you just weren’t interested. It’s best to text/e-mail then by the next day to tell them your lack of interest. If the person TOTALLY lied about everything, my BLOCK/DELETE method works just fine!

As well, stick with something short like a walk or coffee. You don’t want to get stuck in the situation where I write about Why I Don’t Do Dinner on a First Date.

Bad Date Bingo

Bad Date Bingo

Do you have any other ideas for exiting a bad date? Let me know in the comment section on the blog, Facebook or Twitter.

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The Disappearing Act

Have you ever started talking to someone from online or otherwise where it’s an almost daily thing. You get to know their schedule and when or when not to expect messages. You’re getting to know each other and sometimes the conversations can lead way past when you should be sleeping for work in the morning. Also, they make sure to tell you that their phone is on them all the time so text any time.

Then…all of a sudden…nothing…or almost nothing. It’s gone from all the time to:

“Text me if you’re bored and I’ll ignore it like I’m busy.”

What happened? I mean, really…what happened?

It’s been my experience that when this happens the person has found someone else. In essence it means that even though the person was acting like they were into you, it also means they were still looking. Perhaps they were into you and someone better looking, more money, or nicer car came along. Or worse, the person was married or has a girlfriend.

I call this type of behaviour “The Disappearing Act.” No one really knows why it happens. All I know for sure is that it wastes my time….which for anyone who knows me it screams DISRESPECT. Sure, I’ve been entertained by the conversation but it doesn’t mean I’m doing it for the good of my health.

I’ve had it where someone will talk to me for a week on the dating site then go silent, yet they still appear online. After another week I get a random message from the person with their phone number. You know what I did? I ignored it. I didn’t message back or text their number. This is a classic example as the person using me as a back up. No, thanks, not interested.

Sadly, there is nothing we can do about this behaviour. We have to live with it as it comes but when it does, don’t condone it. Ignore the person if they contact you again or call them out. Everyone has emergencies and can’t be available all the time, but we aren’t talk about that.

Let’s take control and make it:

“Text me but I’m ignoring YOU because you’re a time wasting jerk!”

As always, comments, questions, orders for my non-existant book are always welcome. 😛

P.S. This behaviour is not limited to just men, us women do it too. I don’t. I just get classified as a bitch when I say I’m not interested.

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10-Minute Meltdown

Totally reblogging this. It’s hilarious and just another example of what us women have to put up with!

Soon2BeCatLady

#31 has a friend who got to witness a 10-minute meltdown via OKCupid, and gave me permission to share.    I don’t know anything other than the messages that were received –  my assumption would be she wasn’t checking her messages every 30 seconds.

That being said, friends..  If you don’t have an ounce of patience in you, online dating is not for you.

7:57PM

“Hey 🙂

I think it’s cool you’re in publishing.  Do you ever think about using people for editing?  You could send me your book and I could look it over, we could get a bottle of wine and talk about how genius it is.  Or beer, since you seem to know your beers.  I know that’s a little forward, but you seem like the kind of girl who doesn’t take any bullshit.”

 

8:03PM – yes.. same day.

“Well you’re online but I guess you…

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Plenty of Fish Antics with Pics!

I have often complained using Facebook, Twitter or directly to my friends about what people do (or don’t do) when they are attempting to meet people online. I’ve started documenting some of this on my phone using the Screen Capture function. I’ve modified the screen shots to hide the person’s username and face for their privacy. I didn’t hide me…well, because you all know it’s me! 🙂

I want you to look closely at this picture. First I was taking a picture of the fact that once again another man has made the typo of “women” instead of “woman”. pof1Second. I noticed that he says he’s looking to find someone to marry. I have often wondered if these men subliminally don’t know what they want so they type “women” and their brain just doesn’t register the typo. I have seen it A LOT so it’s not just this guy.

 

pof2Here we have a classic example of either someone who is Really new to online dating or is just lazy. I do realize that not every person is going to respond to every message they get but at least try to put some effort into it. Saying just “hi” or “hello” is not acceptable. That being said, I have received the opposite before as well. I’ve had people send me paragraphs  in a First message where I had to reply that I wasn’t interested for whatever reason (distance, etc). Sadly, due to my frustration with these people I sometimes reply in a bit of a bitchy manner. You see this in this message and will see more of it in some other screen shots. In his profile he lists that he has a Masters Degree and bunch of other intellectual “stuff”. Impressive but what’s he going to do? Walk around with his degree stapled to his shirt and hope it gets him past the awkward moment when all he says is “Hi.” ???

 

pof3This guy here lists himself as wanting a relationship. His profile seemed decent and he looked good too so I figured I might as well send a message. It wasn’t long before he kept trying to carry the conversation in a different direction. As you can see from the screen shot I called him out on it. It’s no wonder us women get confused then get defensive when a real man messages us. Yes, the messages were happening after midnight but it was a Tuesday night and I was at work….so it’s less likely the guy was drunk…less likely but who knows!

 

 

 

pof4I am not going to judge someone for not having a car. In this day and age cars/gas are getting more and more expensive. I have dated men who do not have cars but they usually lived in the same city as myself. Lately I’ve had many men from all over (20km and more) message me and want to meet me yet they have no mode of transportation. They either expect that since I have car that I’m going to come get them or they offer me money for the gas. I’m sorry but I am Not a taxi. When it comes to something like that I expect 50/50. Gas money and driving time…because Time is a HUGE deal when you’re a parent.

 

 

 

pof5This man is in his early 40’s and I normally wouldn’t have seen his profile but he had checked me out. I clicked on it and he had only the one picture on his profile. Classic bathroom picture yet he’s wearing Sunglasses. So, being the bitch that you all know I can be, I call him out on it. He says he wants casual/no commitment and writes that he’s looking for “fun excursions”. We all know what that means… He tries to explain himself out of it but I’m not buying it at all. He then shared with me another picture where he looked NOTHING like his original picture…as in way older and heavier. I don’t care if a man is burly. It looks good on most men…but don’t hide yourself and think it’s going to be ok when the person finally see what you Really look like. Everyone deserves to be loved but no one deserves to be lied to!

 

pof6pof7 There is just NO helping this guy. He seems to think it’s perfectly OK to tell a woman he’s only just started talking to that his “Junk” is “hairless”. Wow, as you can see I was quite surprised to read that. Where he says he’s sorry in the first message I had just finished explaining that certain comments come across badly over text.

Well, I hope you all got a good laugh at some of the stuff I’ve had to deal with. I’m starting to think I should try speed dating as this online thing doesn’t seem to be working out. 😛

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Part 3 – That One Who Got Away

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a rebound when it comes to this man. Again.

I finally thought to ask him how long he has been single and how long he was with his last girlfriend. Single 3 weeks and was with her for 6 months. Ugh.

No question, I am the rebound. Why does this keep happening? I think I have an idea as to why and I’ll be addressing this in another post.

The main reason for this post is an update for people who were wondering about this guy….along with me. I’ve determined that (after two 12hr shifts of thinking) that I am indeed his rebound and that I refuse to be as such. I absolutely refuse to be a “temp” woman until he finds someone closer. This isn’t negative, it’s realistic…and kinda what happened before.

So, I’ve told him all this….since we aren’t dating. I’ve thrown all my shit out there for him to see.

On to the next…

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The One Who Got Away Just Contacted Me

I’m a bit of a basket case right now. In about an hour I am going to meet up with a man I met about a year and a half ago. We dated briefly until things got in the way that we couldn’t control.

I refer to this man as the one who got away. He is awesome in so many ways. We had so much fun together. Could always talk  or just hang out and say nothing. Although we only saw each other for about 2 months, he definitely had a profound effect on me and think about him from time to time.

Just last week I deleted his number from my phone because I figured there was no reason for me to have it. Last I heard…and this was back in June when I wished him a happy birthday through text message, that he was seeing someone. And why wouldn’t he be? He’s an amazing man!

He’s super handsome, has a great personality, dances, works out, has a great career in the trades, has a house, multiple vehicles and a beautiful daughter that he has most of the time. The bad part….he lives/d 45 minutes away. I originally shot him down because of the distance but he swore he came to my town often because of family. We would meet up when the kids were in school. Did lunches, and active things…he even took me to a private range where we taught me and let me shoot his handguns (all registered and licensed btw). I thought that was great since I went to school to become a correctional officer so it was something I needed to learn eventually.

I could gush about this man forever…

There was even one night where he decided he was going to come see me (it actually was his birthday weekend) and we were going to go dancing and have some drinks. We got a little tipsy and he stayed at my place. I will tell you without a doubt that we did Not have sex. Oh…I absolutely wanted to…but he said we should just cuddle. We did, and it was sweet….and the only man to ever suggest such a thing, especially with a bunch of drinks into him.

The summer came and the kids were out of school. The relationship hadn’t progressed enough that we wanted to let our kids meet…so seeing each other was difficult. We drifted apart and he started seeing someone closer distance wise. Although I wished it was me…I still wanted him to be happy.

This morning at 6:36am I wake up to see this text from a number with no name:

“Good morning!!! What’s up??”

Confused and with only one eye open, “Who is this?”

“Gah!!!!!!! haha it’s ______”

Holy shit…wtf, oh my god….so many things swirled around my head.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to go rollerblading today?”

……fuck yeah! I scream in my head. This is significant since I had tracked down a pair of blades for him but we never ended up going. I was to teach him how to do it. I asked if he was coming here and he said he absolutely would.

I’m freaking out..seriously.

That being said, I’m going to drill him. I’m going to find out absolutely what he’s up to…not that he ever really played any games with me that I know of. But as any woman would, I’m already over analyzing everything.

Stay tuned…

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Part 2 – Embracing Single Life

I posted yesterday about how you should embrace being single and last night was a perfect example of what could happen if you do.

I was supposed to meet my co-workers at a local restaurant where we usually sit at the bar, have some food and drinks then head over to the strip club across the street afterwards.

By 8pm I’m ready and I haven’t heard from either of the two guys I usually hang out with. 8:30pm rolls around and I say “screw it” and go by myself. I show up at 9pm, have a seat at the end of the bar and order my drink and a menu. I’m a couple of seats down from a really nice looking man who is chatting with the guy beside him. I order my food then look up when I hear the man ask me how I am. The guy he was talking to apparently had left.

I was shocked at first but was friendly as it was better than looking down at my smart phone and pretending to ignore everyone around me. I wasn’t there to be anti-social. We chatted lightly and found out he’s from out of town. Not only that but he’s in town because the company he owns produces equipment that the company I work for just bought. He’s here to help with trial runs of the equipment. Small world!

In chatting I find out all sorts of things about him…like he’s married. Which is fine with me since I’m not looking to pick up, especially someone from out of town. One of my co-workers finally shows up at 10:30pm (he slept in) since I had texted him to get his butt there. By this time I’m on my 4th cocktail, had a huge plate of nachos and having a great time talking with this guy. I make introductions and we all end up chatting about work while their beer flows and I have another cocktail.

The restaurant is closing at 11:30pm and my co-worker and I are surprised when Mr. Man says he’s paying for it ALL. Apparently since he owns his company and we work for the company he is here for….it’s ALL going his expense account. Well…we were both shocked and thanked him. I totally ate and got drunk for free with all intentions of paying for it.

We then headed across the street to the strip club and Mr. Man paid for all the drinks there too. I only had two more since I was already feeling it by that time. Through out the night he had regaled us with stories of his travels all over the world with his company. Lots of laughs and stories all around with a total stranger. We thanked him profusely (since just weren’t used to that type of thing) for the hospitality and he thanked us for keeping him company.

The fact that this all happened because I decided to go out alone makes me feel good. It shows that being comfortable with yourself and your singleton status can only lead to good things.

Now…only if Mr. Man lived in this town and wasn’t married. 😛

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“I’m single because I’m realistic?”

It’s Friday, I’m sick..and of course, that means the assholes have decided today was the day to show their face clearly. Please note that since I’m sick that any annoyances may be a little over the top.

A couple days ago a man who lives almost two hours away messages me about one of my pictures. He asks if I’m wearing spandex. huh? Weird question. I look at his profile and pictures and find that he’s a avid cyclist and in all his pictures he is wearing spandex cyclist wear. Well, I guess the question isn’t as weird now. I reply telling him it’s not spandex and that was it. He then sends me a series of flattering messages telling me I have great legs and that I must work out a lot.

Well, you know what? In my experience if a man is going on about a woman’s body parts it’s not because he wants to have a chat with her. I was at work at the time of these messages and just stopped responding since my break was over.

Today, the man messages me again. I end up politely telling him that I’m not interested in anything long distance. He replies that he’s in my city two times a week and that it’s my loss. Umm what? I like confidence but I think this guy has a little too much for my liking. I should add that he listed his profession as “Emergency Medical” and does appear to be quite good looking. I’m thinking he’s not used to rejection. Sorry, no amount of good looks is going to change the price of gas.

I reply with “I’m sure you will find someone who can accommodate you.”

His reply, “This is why you’re single. Have a good one.”

Really…I’m single because I’m realistic? At this point I’m leaving Wal-Mart, my 4 year old son in tow with groceries and Kleenex in hand. I would have loved to have blasted this ass to the moon but the energy just wasn’t there.

“No need to be rude. This is why you’re single.”    Block.

I swear if I didn’t delete my account all the time I would have the longest block list ever.

I’m single because I refuse to settle for an asshole, again.

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