Tag Archives: wtf

Was it Her or Was it Me? It was HIM!

Men need to read this!

Was It Her Or Was It Me? The Douche In Me That I Don’t See

 

Men have to get that bringing up other women insults your date. Women don’t get jealous since it’s just a first date, it’s because the man is openly comparing us to other women. Keep that shit to yourself! We get nervous enough and the key is to make your date feel comfortable to want to open up….not create a competition.

I’ve met a few guys described in that post and I still get a text or two once in a while from them asking me out again.

I don’t reply.

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The Pink Panties

There are times when you feel like throwing caution to the wind and just going with the flow. There are also times where there are red flags and you should not ignore them. The experience I’m about to tell is one of those.

In about April of this year I found myself with a weekend off where my kids were with their dad. It was Saturday afternoon and plans I had made with friends had fallen through. A man had started sending me messages on POF. Another military man from the base located an hour from me. He seemed decent enough that after a couple hours of messages back and forth, I accepted his invitation for dinner.

I made the hour long drive to his city as there was more things to do there than in mine. We met at a restaurant and everything seemed cool. I will add that he was VERY French. As I’ve met quite a few men from the military on POF I’ve become used to filtering out the accent. I sometimes think it’s funny to hear how they say certain English words…even my own name as it starts with an H….H’s are difficult for them and I know this. 😛

We had a nice drink and chat at the first restaurant then he suggest going to another because he had discovered I loved wings. Everything seemed normal except I learned that he was only recently single for a month and that his ex girlfriend (also military) was still in the process of moving out. Hmm…

After eating I seemed comfortable with him enough to accept his invitation to watch some Big Bang Theory at his place. Yes, I know…you shouldn’t go to a guys house you just met but it had started raining. I wasn’t ready to go home yet and the rain made it so a walk would have been dismal.

I should have gone home.

I went to his place which was a small basement apartment. He had explained he was moving in another week to a house he had bought in a new subdivision. We settled on the couch and he made sure to sit right beside me and snuggled up. At this point I didn’t mind because who doesn’t like to snuggle?

About half way through the episode I had to use the washroom. He directs me to go through his bedroom where the bathroom is on the other side. I passed a drying rack on my way but had to go so bad something didn’t register at first. When I came out I did a quick sweep of the room with my eyes….because I’m nosy that way.

Fantasy novel (in French) by the bed, clothes neatly folded on the dresser, boxes half filled looking like he’s ready to move and pink panties hanging off the drying rack. PINK PANTIES? WTF…? This guy was 6’3″ and easily a muscular 190-200lbs. There is no freakin’ way he could fit into those.

That being said, he had told me his ex was in the process of moving out. I don’t know about you all…but if I’m moving out of someone’s place I’m pretty sure I’m not going to leave my PINK underwear hanging around, quite literally. As well, if my ex left his underwear hanging around I would have either burned it or thrown it in a garbage bag for them to pick up.

I went back out to his living room and pretended I hadn’t seen anything. I didn’t sit as close to him though. We watched the rest of the episode and he indicated that he wanted to make out with me. I decided I had nothing to lose said sure, if he could say my name.

Remember the whole “H” thing couple with the French accent? I wanted to get in one last laugh before I left this loser.

“Say my name.”

He shakes his head no.

“Come on, I want to hear you say it.”

“I cannot.”

“Really? It’s that hard?”

“Oui.”

“Oh I get it…do you even remember my name?” I ask jokingly.

He shakes his head.

Nice. What the fuck? I know I texted my name to him before I met him and I knew his name..and had said it a couple times. This indicated that he didn’t care to remember or know it.

It was at this point where my phone started ringing and it was coworkers wondering where I was. I usually attend local UFC showings with them….and usually the one who drives their drunk asses home. I used this excuse as my quick exit, but not before noticing a few pairs of high heeled shoes shoved to one side in the entry way. Hmm..

Needless to say I never contacted that guy again. I came to the conclusion that his girlfriend must have been on some course with the military and/or was out of town at that time. There is also the idea that she was staying at their new house while he was supposed to be packing. Who knows…I don’t…and I don’t care to know.

Le sigh.

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Crazy Revisited

crazy

Last night I tried something new in the way of meeting people. I had spent the day recovering from a night out (something I hadn’t done since New Years Eve) as well texting some friends while in and out of consciousness from the severe hangover. I want to add that I remember why I don’t do this. I wasted a perfectly good Sunday in bed…by myself! To make a longer story short, once I was mobile, I was bored.

Before long I was bathed and on my way to a small town not far from where I live. I was invited to hang out with a friend of mine and his friend. My friend made it sound like he was trying to set me up with his friend…and I thought, what the hell? Let’s give it a shot!

I get to the place where they were at, have a seat and greet them. The fucked up part is that I know BOTH of them…my friend…and his friend, which is a CRAZY I met about a year ago.

Just freakin’ Perfect.

All I got from my friend(who is military) was that his friend was ex-military, his first name and that he was single. I should have asked more….but due to trusting my friend I didn’t feel like I needed to.

Sigh.

So here’s the story about Mr. Crazy.

We met on one of the dating sites and eventually met for coffee that led to lunch that same day. As it was a week day and kids were in school I even ended up taking him out to the private beach I know of. The conversation was good and normal…except for the fact that he was on a short medical leave from the military due to a severe concussion. Hmm… after meeting Mr. Head Injury this information should have given me a clue. We parted ways with a hug and a promise to contact.

I got contacted alright. I didn’t hear anything for a few days and all of a sudden I started getting unsolicited dirty sexually explicit text messages from this man. As well he begged for naked pictures and promised to send me some in return. You know, this is something you might do with someone you are actually dating(depending on your comfort level)….not something you do with someone you have only met once.

Needless to say I gave him ROYAL SHIT and told him Never to contact me again. Two days later I get a message from him in which we have this conversation:

“Hey, how are you today, would you like to go for lunch?”

“Pardon me?”

“I think you’re awesome and thought we got along great. Don’t you think?”

“Do you not remember me telling you NOT to contact me after that bullshit two days ago?”

“What bullshit?”

“Really?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You asked for naked pictures of me and sent me explicit messages that I didn’t ask for?”

……..about 20 minutes go by before he answers finally.

“It must have been someone else, so how about that lunch?”

WTF?

No, I did not meet him for lunch…nor did I ever meet him again. This happened a couple more times where he seemed to have two different personalities…that doesn’t remember what the other did. One day I was at work and he “booty called” me while including a picture of his penis. WTF!?!  I believe I called him a disgusting pig and told him I was blocking his number. In which I promptly did.

So….there I was sitting beside my friend and across from Mr. Crazy. What the hell was I to do??

Apparently in the time it took for me to drive there,  Mr. Crazy had gleaned enough information from my friend to realize that he knew me. I’ll admit I was a little rude at first since the memories of his rudeness had come back to me.

“Hello….long time no see…”

“Ahh…you’re the crazy one…”  (and yes, I totally said that.)

He laughed it off and then came the awkward silence.

I decided it would be best to put out my hand say, “Let’s start again.” We shook hands and we all had some drinks. I ended up having to take my friend home because he had waaaay too much to drink. I was kind of glad for that as the conversation didn’t flow very well. I had asked about Mr. Crazy’s concussion and if that was why he left the military. He replied, “Oh…that was a bad time for me” then got really quiet. Hmm…yep, still crazy!

Looking back, this situation could have been worse. I was a little freaked out but I was there to have fun. I took the high/mature road and put the past behind me…well, long enough to write this blog the next day about it. 🙂

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The Disappearing Act

Have you ever started talking to someone from online or otherwise where it’s an almost daily thing. You get to know their schedule and when or when not to expect messages. You’re getting to know each other and sometimes the conversations can lead way past when you should be sleeping for work in the morning. Also, they make sure to tell you that their phone is on them all the time so text any time.

Then…all of a sudden…nothing…or almost nothing. It’s gone from all the time to:

“Text me if you’re bored and I’ll ignore it like I’m busy.”

What happened? I mean, really…what happened?

It’s been my experience that when this happens the person has found someone else. In essence it means that even though the person was acting like they were into you, it also means they were still looking. Perhaps they were into you and someone better looking, more money, or nicer car came along. Or worse, the person was married or has a girlfriend.

I call this type of behaviour “The Disappearing Act.” No one really knows why it happens. All I know for sure is that it wastes my time….which for anyone who knows me it screams DISRESPECT. Sure, I’ve been entertained by the conversation but it doesn’t mean I’m doing it for the good of my health.

I’ve had it where someone will talk to me for a week on the dating site then go silent, yet they still appear online. After another week I get a random message from the person with their phone number. You know what I did? I ignored it. I didn’t message back or text their number. This is a classic example as the person using me as a back up. No, thanks, not interested.

Sadly, there is nothing we can do about this behaviour. We have to live with it as it comes but when it does, don’t condone it. Ignore the person if they contact you again or call them out. Everyone has emergencies and can’t be available all the time, but we aren’t talk about that.

Let’s take control and make it:

“Text me but I’m ignoring YOU because you’re a time wasting jerk!”

As always, comments, questions, orders for my non-existant book are always welcome. 😛

P.S. This behaviour is not limited to just men, us women do it too. I don’t. I just get classified as a bitch when I say I’m not interested.

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My Day from Hell and a Date

To say the least the month of April can go back from whence it came. It has cost me a LOT of money. I’m going to give you a little bit of a run down of what has been going on.

It started with my car. At the start of April I got a tune up done on my car. A week later the transmission on my car decided it didn’t like going in reverse. As most car owners know, transmissions are super expensive to have fixed. I’ve constantly been fixing my car (like something new every month) so I drove my car while “strategically” parking for a week. I was able to get my hands on a new “New To Me” car….where I now have payments. Ugh. But, it runs and all major parts (that I’ve fixed in my old car) are now under warranty.

A couple Fridays ago the weather in Ontario was Very un-Spring-like. So much so that we had an ice storm. We are talking, school buses cancelled, accidents every where, downed tree branches from the weight of the ice and extensive power outages. Thankfully I was still able to take my kids to school because I am in town and they don’t require to be bused there. It was my day off and I had plans to get my stereo installed in my “new” car…got to have my tunes!

As I’m waiting on the install I’m texting and reading stuff on my phone when it jumps out SmashedHTCOneXof my hand. I’ve dropped it countless times before, even on the concrete floors at work, and it’s been fine. Not this time, not on This day. Smashed. Like little bits of glass coming out and potentially into my fingers or onto my face when I went to use it type Smashed. Perfect. 

Needless to say, after the install I had to get see about a new phone. $400 and an additional year to my contract later, I have my new phone…which is the same model as my old phone sans the smashed screen. It’s the HTC One X, it’s awesome and does everything, no need to go to something else!

One to the date planned for that same night. I had been talking to a guy for a little over a week. He asked to meet me on Friday so I planned to put my son to bed at my mother’s where I would pick him up in the morning. The man was newly single and I was wary of that. Mainly because a lot of newly single men (and sometimes women)  happen to only want to do One thing, as I’ve called it before the “fuck everything that moves” stage.

NachosetcWe met up at my favorite sports bar because I figured if it didn’t go well that at least I knew I would like the food and the drinks. We were there an hour and a half before we decided to leave. I know I wasn’t feeling it and guessing he didn’t either. Oh well.

We get outside and I noticed that I had left my headlights on. Yeah, you guessed it. My battery was dead. In my “new” car. The guy didn’t have booster cables. Now what freakin’ guy doesn’t have booster cables? WTF? The guy offers to drive me home. I accepted despite not really wanting him to know where I live.

At this point I’m shaking my head wondering what kind of unlucky dark cloud is following me that day. Really? REALLY?

I was able to get a hold of one of my Best guy friends who also has booster cables. He picked me up, boosted me and made sure I was able to get my car going and home. I’m very thankful for good friends! I was very happy when midnight came in hopes that my day from Hell was over!

To conclude about my date, he messaged me the next day and said he didn’t think he was ready for what I’m looking for. Well duh. That being said he added that he would “love to see me naked” and that we should “get a little too drunk one night.”

Umm, no. I’m good.

I haven’t spoken/texted him since and do not plan on it.

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Part 1: Mr. Multiple Underlying Issues

I was going to hold off on writing this post in hopes of salvaging a friendship. Sadly, the person I’m going to write about gave me the “go ahead” by telling me off via text message. It was unprovoked and quite juvenile.

Let’s start at the start:

Over the last 8 months or so (he said the last year so not sure) I had been contacted more than once by man who lives in Ottawa. This is approximately 3 hours from where I live. He had an interesting profile and he looked decent. We would chat a bit on Plenty of Fish(POF) but I would always dismiss him politely saying the distance was just too far. He would always joke that I should move there.

I’m going to call him Sam so I don’t have to keep calling him “this man.” Over the Christmas holidays Sam and I had started having brief chats again. Nothing too serious.

It’s New Years Day and my last guest had just left. I was thankful that the festivities from the night before did not leave me as hung over as I should have been. I decide I’m bored and feel like going on a road trip. I have a friend in Kingston (an hour away) who I have stayed with from time to time. I figured I would head in that direction and see what happens. I packed a backpack with my hair and tooth-brush as well as a change of clothes. I got in my car and drove.

It was then that I got a “Happy New Year” message from Sam on POF. My phone is equipped with speech to text so I was able to tell him that I was having a road trip and heading in his direction. Somehow I got it into my head to drive the 2hrs passed Kingston to Ottawa to meet Sam. I think it might have been the fact that it was a new year, new people, new…something. Or maybe I was trying to finally get Mr. Feeble Heart out of my system.

When I stopped for gas I sent my phone number to make speech to text easier. We arranged to meet at pub style restaurant to have dinner and drinks. I arrived a little after 6pm. I was thankful that Sam looked like his pictures after that long drive. We sat there and had a great conversation for over 3 hours. I liked him right away. It’s not very often someone can actually have a conversation!

It was about 9:30pm when Sam politely suggests that he doesn’t think I should drive home so late. To make a longer story short, I didn’t go home. I took his invitation to stay at his place. We watched Ted (hilarious btw) and talked even more. I may have taken the spirit of “new things” a little too far in that he didn’t sleep on the couch as originally planned. I was very pleasantly surprised in this department. 😛

The next day I left around noon as I had to work at 7pm. In my head I’m thinking that I’ll probably never hear from him again because…well…the night before…and we had just met…yeah…some regrets there. I was happily wrong.

He blasted my phone with texts in a good way from the time I said I was home until halfway through the night while I was at work and he finally went to bed. I was off the following weekend and we made plans for him to come to my home. The texts never felt like too much or too little. Just the right amount of communication. While he was here I made him dinner and we attended an OHL game for my local team (he’s a huge hockey fan). Despite the distance things seemed to be clicking very well….or so I thought.

My birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks and it was planned that I would come to his place for the weekend since my kids would be away. In that two-week wait we texted up a storm about what we would do. Everything from possibly skating on the canal, shopping and going out to a pub to watch the his favorite NHL team play their first game (as the NHL lockout was finally over). The only odd thing at that point was him suggesting we attend the Ottawa POF event the Saturday night. He said he had gone to one the month before and thought it was “pretty cool.” I initially said no but changed my mind as I thought perhaps I could write a review on it….of which I did here.

Needless to say I was very excited for this weekend……

Click HERE for Part 2 as this post is getting rather long.

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Part 3 – That One Who Got Away

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a rebound when it comes to this man. Again.

I finally thought to ask him how long he has been single and how long he was with his last girlfriend. Single 3 weeks and was with her for 6 months. Ugh.

No question, I am the rebound. Why does this keep happening? I think I have an idea as to why and I’ll be addressing this in another post.

The main reason for this post is an update for people who were wondering about this guy….along with me. I’ve determined that (after two 12hr shifts of thinking) that I am indeed his rebound and that I refuse to be as such. I absolutely refuse to be a “temp” woman until he finds someone closer. This isn’t negative, it’s realistic…and kinda what happened before.

So, I’ve told him all this….since we aren’t dating. I’ve thrown all my shit out there for him to see.

On to the next…

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Part 2 – The One Who Got Away

Now my head is messed up. This entry is an update to the post I made yesterday entitled The One Who Got Away Just Contacted Me. I was super excited and totally freaking out about see him again.

Here goes…

I met him at that park where we went for a walk the first day we met. It’s also the same place where I do all of my rollerblading. He’s early…I had planned on getting there before him so I could try and relax while drinking my coffee. Considering he lives about 45 minutes away from me, the fact that he was early made me think he really must have wanted to see me.

He rode his sport bike and of course looked as handsome and sexy as ever. He hadn’t changed a bit. He asked for a hug first thing. His hug is strong and soft at the same time. The kind of hug where you feel safe. I could have melted. Damn, how does he have that effect on me?!?

We talked, laughed and caught up. We did go rollerblading for a short time. About 2kms or so. I say short since when I go on my own its usually at least 10kms. All the while I’m checking him out and wondering why is he here?

Afterwards we stop at my place to drop off his motorcycle and go out for lunch. He constantly complimented me about how great I look and how smart I am. He even mentioned that he doesn’t understand why or how I’m still single. This is where I mentioned that I now write this blog about my dating misadventures, even about the epiphany I had the other day. We even talked about why things didn’t work between us. Mainly the distance between us.

He instantly asked if I had written about him. I told him I did just that morning and he wanted to read it. Ah crap.. After a few minutes I get out my phone and let him read the post. He commented that he thought it was sweet and again how intelligent I am. I was slightly embarrassed that he got to have a glimpse into my head.

All the while we are talking and hanging out he looks at me right in the eyes. I swear this man has the most intense eyes. He looks Right at me and when he does I know, or at least think, he’s with me and his head isn’t anywhere else. I don’t know how he does it.

After lunch we somehow fit in some snuggle time on my couch. It felt like how we were before…although in my head I’m thinking it’s been over a year since I’ve physical seen this man and almost 5 months since we had any contact with each other (the June birthday text I sent). The connection and attraction was definitely still there.

Finally, he had to leave so that he could pick his daughter up from school. I ended up taking a short nap since my head was swimming (and still is). I needed a break.

I. Will. Not. Chase.

I swore I wasn’t going to text him first. Swore it. Even swore to my friend who agreed that when I talked about him, I did indeed call him the one who got away.

A couple hours later he texts me to tell me he had a great time. Holy shit.. It’s not like we had a bad time, but I sincerely have no idea where this is going.

Later that night, after our kids were in bed, my phone is blown up by him..and his blown up by mine. It was like old times. Although I’m truly trying to hold back. Why should I let him just waltz back into my life when I don’t really know what his intentions are. I wouldn’t say I was hurt the last time around but I was definitely disappointed. The reality of the distance was there from the get-go.

I’m dumbfounded. My mind is boggled. A big huge WTF and where did this come from?

I’m definitely over analyzing every minute and every text. Sadly I’m being a typical woman right now and I hate it.

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The One Who Got Away Just Contacted Me

I’m a bit of a basket case right now. In about an hour I am going to meet up with a man I met about a year and a half ago. We dated briefly until things got in the way that we couldn’t control.

I refer to this man as the one who got away. He is awesome in so many ways. We had so much fun together. Could always talk  or just hang out and say nothing. Although we only saw each other for about 2 months, he definitely had a profound effect on me and think about him from time to time.

Just last week I deleted his number from my phone because I figured there was no reason for me to have it. Last I heard…and this was back in June when I wished him a happy birthday through text message, that he was seeing someone. And why wouldn’t he be? He’s an amazing man!

He’s super handsome, has a great personality, dances, works out, has a great career in the trades, has a house, multiple vehicles and a beautiful daughter that he has most of the time. The bad part….he lives/d 45 minutes away. I originally shot him down because of the distance but he swore he came to my town often because of family. We would meet up when the kids were in school. Did lunches, and active things…he even took me to a private range where we taught me and let me shoot his handguns (all registered and licensed btw). I thought that was great since I went to school to become a correctional officer so it was something I needed to learn eventually.

I could gush about this man forever…

There was even one night where he decided he was going to come see me (it actually was his birthday weekend) and we were going to go dancing and have some drinks. We got a little tipsy and he stayed at my place. I will tell you without a doubt that we did Not have sex. Oh…I absolutely wanted to…but he said we should just cuddle. We did, and it was sweet….and the only man to ever suggest such a thing, especially with a bunch of drinks into him.

The summer came and the kids were out of school. The relationship hadn’t progressed enough that we wanted to let our kids meet…so seeing each other was difficult. We drifted apart and he started seeing someone closer distance wise. Although I wished it was me…I still wanted him to be happy.

This morning at 6:36am I wake up to see this text from a number with no name:

“Good morning!!! What’s up??”

Confused and with only one eye open, “Who is this?”

“Gah!!!!!!! haha it’s ______”

Holy shit…wtf, oh my god….so many things swirled around my head.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to go rollerblading today?”

……fuck yeah! I scream in my head. This is significant since I had tracked down a pair of blades for him but we never ended up going. I was to teach him how to do it. I asked if he was coming here and he said he absolutely would.

I’m freaking out..seriously.

That being said, I’m going to drill him. I’m going to find out absolutely what he’s up to…not that he ever really played any games with me that I know of. But as any woman would, I’m already over analyzing everything.

Stay tuned…

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“I’m single because I’m realistic?”

It’s Friday, I’m sick..and of course, that means the assholes have decided today was the day to show their face clearly. Please note that since I’m sick that any annoyances may be a little over the top.

A couple days ago a man who lives almost two hours away messages me about one of my pictures. He asks if I’m wearing spandex. huh? Weird question. I look at his profile and pictures and find that he’s a avid cyclist and in all his pictures he is wearing spandex cyclist wear. Well, I guess the question isn’t as weird now. I reply telling him it’s not spandex and that was it. He then sends me a series of flattering messages telling me I have great legs and that I must work out a lot.

Well, you know what? In my experience if a man is going on about a woman’s body parts it’s not because he wants to have a chat with her. I was at work at the time of these messages and just stopped responding since my break was over.

Today, the man messages me again. I end up politely telling him that I’m not interested in anything long distance. He replies that he’s in my city two times a week and that it’s my loss. Umm what? I like confidence but I think this guy has a little too much for my liking. I should add that he listed his profession as “Emergency Medical” and does appear to be quite good looking. I’m thinking he’s not used to rejection. Sorry, no amount of good looks is going to change the price of gas.

I reply with “I’m sure you will find someone who can accommodate you.”

His reply, “This is why you’re single. Have a good one.”

Really…I’m single because I’m realistic? At this point I’m leaving Wal-Mart, my 4 year old son in tow with groceries and Kleenex in hand. I would have loved to have blasted this ass to the moon but the energy just wasn’t there.

“No need to be rude. This is why you’re single.”    Block.

I swear if I didn’t delete my account all the time I would have the longest block list ever.

I’m single because I refuse to settle for an asshole, again.

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